If we were to make a list of the worlds worst villains I’m sure we could all agree that straight white men would dominate. They have worked for centuries to claim that spot and who are we to refuse them the title. However I wonder who’s number 2? If straight white men are removed from the equation completely, who’s next in line to be the worst? Who is Gaston’s Lefou or the Joker’s Harley Quinn? From what I can see this race comes down to straight white women and gay white men. It may sound strange to an outsider since both groups have had more than their fair share of oppression. Straight white women have had to endure all the harassment that’s lead to the MeToo movement in addition to decades of unequal pay. White gay men are constantly battling unjust anti-gay laws and homophobia from both their family and the public. What unites both groups however is the fact that when it comes to minority groups, straight white women and white gay men are the most privileged because they have one important thing in common. They’re both white. Let’s break it down to see how this battle of the beige shakes out.

The Villain Resume

Straight White Women:

The 2016 Election– After the 2016 election statistics showed that more straight white women voted for Donald Trump than Hilary Clinton. Damn! A white woman can’t even get other white women to vote for her even when her opponent jokes about grabbing women’s pussies. That’s truly insane. I have to be honest ladies, that lack of unity is going on your permanent record.

The Karen Epidemic– This started out as a funny meme based around the type of woman who routinely asks to speak to manager. She even came complete with a signature haircut. It’s since evolved and been named the “Karen.” Karen is an straight white woman who feels entitled to every privilege that her skin color and economic status affords her. She will not be kept waiting, she will not sympathize with the plight of others, and you can bet she’ll probably call the cops on a black family having a birthday party in the park. She gives women a bad name and there are thousand of videos of her yelling at innocent essential workers all over the internet.

Gay White Men:

Straight Guys Don’t Own Misogyny– Misogyny is defined as “dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against women.” I’d slightly alter that definition to “prejudice against women or femininity.” In the past I’ve written a lot about internalized homophobia but the truth is that internalized homophobia is actually just internalized misogyny. A lot of what gay men hate in each other (and therefore themselves) boils down to homosexuality vs masculinity. Even something as simple as sexual position becomes fraught with issues. If you’re a bottom you’re essentially taking on the “female” role and seen as less masculine. We’ve all been at a shitty gay bar as a drag queen makes endless bottom jokes. Gay culture puts a high value on tops, physical strength and tough attitudes all of which are the opposite of femininity. There’s also a surprisingly large amount of gay men that hate women. Here’s a fun experiment: Ask a bunch of gay guys what they think about straight women at a gay bar. While a few of them will have a level headed response there will inevitably be that one guy who goes on an aggressively angry rant about “those fucking cunts.”

We’re Assholes to Anyone Who Doesn’t Look Like Us- White gay men have a history of being racist and transphobic to our queer community members. Yes gender and sexuality are different but all of the modern freedoms we currently enjoy as gay people started because a trans women got fed up one night at a bar. Even when gender isn’t an issue white gay men still have a checkered past. When it comes to black and Asian gay men we tend to either fetishize them or exclude them completely. Skinny white gays are shitty to fat white gays. Fat white gays are shitty to skinny white gays. As gay men we love to categorize ourselves and if you don’t fit within our category most likely we’re shitty to you. Simply stated: A lot of gay men have trouble interacting with anyone they’re not physically attracted to. #Same4Same

In conclusion, I don’t think there’s a clear victory here. I’d give straight white women a slight edge simply for the Trump vote alone though. However I purposely wanted to publish this before the election because straight white women have the opportunity to redeem themselves and correct the mistakes of their past. Hopefully 2021 will bring progress so we can focus on the true villains: rich people.