The Definitive TBRU Guide

  1. When you pick up your run package take out the event tee-shirt and wear it (and only it) all weekend.
  2. Also make sure your lanyard is visible at all times especially when you’re not at the hotel.
  3. Complaining loudly about the event is a great way to make new friends.
  4. Whatever you do don’t message anyone on GROWLr. Wait for them to message you.
  5. If you do message a guy make sure it’s only that mega hottie you’ve stalked on Tumblr for the last 5 years. He probably doesn’t get a lot of messages so he’ll be very eager to talk to you.
  6. Trust me you haven’t had enough to drink.
  7. It’s the responsibility of the event organizers to make sure you have a good time. If you don’t have fun it’s never your fault.
  8. When you go to BearDance open a tab with the first bartender you see as soon as you walk through the door. She’s probably the only bartender in that enormous club anyway.
  9. A GROWLr flash is a great way to get laid because it makes you look very confident.
  10. Incase you end up drunk and lost, the hotel address is 2616 Swiss Ave Dallas TX 75204
  11. To all the guys who’ve gone to TBRU for decades and feel like the event isn’t as fun as it used to be, you’re right. It’s definitely them and it’s definitely not you.
  12. Don’t go to Babes Chicken. It’s gross and everyone hates it.
  13. Wear colorful flamboyant clothes. Bears love gender nonconformists.
  14. Everyone is having more sex than you.
  15. Skip the hospitality suite. The drinks are way too over priced.
  16. Ignore the locals. We’re all pretentious Trump loving trash living in a city with no culture.
  17. I read a headline on Facebook that said sunscreen doesn’t work and probably causes cancer. Don’t use it on Sunday at the Hidden Door.
  18. If you disagree with this post please email all complaints to

Green Piece

  1. I support the legalization of marijuana
  2. Even though I’ve never been high.
  3. Whenever I write/talk about marijuana I feel like an old man because I don’t know the current slang for it. I don’t hear people say pot or weed anymore… Is there a new word? Wacky Tobacky?
  4. I often wonder how many people smoke pot as a substitute for anti-anxiety or antidepressant medication.
  5. The scent and the actual smoke gross me out and that’s why I always say no.
  6. The smell of marijuana is one of my most hated scents on earth. Top 3 bitch!
  7. The smell of (cheap) Chinese food is also on that list. Literal gag.
  8. A guy eating pork fried rice in a cloud of smoke is my 3rd level of hell.
  9. I’d rather wear Tevas with socks than smell that shit.
  10. The person who invented pot vaporizers is doing God’s work. Now all I smell is cotton candy or sour apple. Bless.
  11. Heaven is saved for those who vape for they don’t smell like skunks.
  12. No I haven’t tried edibles. Too much sugar.
  13. Smoking appears to bring people together like a brotherhood.
  14. I have a feeling that the communal brotherhood will disappear if it gets legalized.
  15. I had a lot of crushes on stoners when I was younger. I found their laid back style very appealing.
  16. Cigarettes, alcohol, steroids, and sugar are all unhealthier.
  17. I wonder if money hungry republicans will back the legalization issue as a way of luring younger voters.
  18. Tobacco companies should switch gears and start becoming marijuana companies.
  19. I’ve never looked at someone and thought, “Wow I never would’ve guessed they smoke a lot.”