One Last Time 


Some of you may have noticed that I haven’t written a blog post in a while. Well I’m here to make it official and tell you that I’m closing the door on the Gay Gasp. While my original intention was to go quietly it occurred to me that my loyal readers deserved some closure.  Some of you have reached out to me to ask about my lack of posts and reasons for stopping so I thought I would write one last post explaining why now was the time to stop.

  1. I’ve run out of stuff to talk about. For most of 2016 I struggled to come up with new and interesting topics. Blogging became more of a chore than the joy it once was for me. I found myself wanting to go back to the same issues over and over again and it started to creep into online therapy territory rather than witty observation. While I could continue to write about my feeling that everyone around me in more attractive than I am it’s clear that problem is just my own insecurity and I should tell a therapist not the internet. Rather than rehash the same topics over and over again I’m choosing to quit while I’m ahead.
  2. It’s not my job to fix your life. This has become my new motto. Part of my intent with blogging was to expose people to different ideas and opinions. After 6 years I am now at the point where I feel like it’s not my job to expose you to new things or educate you on ideas that already exist. My very average self was able to find all of these topics and so should you. It sounds harsh but I can’t continue to think it’s my responsibility to educate the masses. I’ll give you an example, recently Buzzfeed publish a listicle called “Gays Literally Yell Every Single Time You Play These Songs.” I posted it to Facebook because it was fun and rang very true to me. Later in the day a person on my friends list posted the same article damning it for assuming all gay men listen to that shitty music. Reading his reaction and the subsequent comments was very disheartening. It felt like everyone just wanted to say “I’m not one of those girly boys who listens to that fag music.” The rage grew inside me and my first instinct was to make an aggressive comment calling out his internalized homophobia.  Luckily reason took over and I instead made one simple comment about how I enjoyed the list and music it featured. There was no need to call him out because call out culture is gross and self serving. Before defriending him I considered keeping him on my friends list because I felt it was my duty to expose him to the a more flamboyant gay sensibility. However I remembered my motto and told myself it wasn’t my job to fix his life or defend mine. A respectful defriend is all that was needed.
  3. Everyone thinks their opinion matters. Everyone has an uneducated opinion on every topic that they feel is very important and their opinions must be heard. Don’t worry, I’m not talking about you. I’m sure the articles you share on Facebook are different. Rather than feed into this culture I decided to opt out and simply shut up. I still have opinions but I don’t need to publish them on the internet anymore.
  4. What you want to read is not what I want to write. My most popular posts have usually been in reference to bear runs and pool parties. While those topics are fun they provide a very shallow pool from which to draw inspiration. I truly love the bear community but I don’t find it interesting or complex enough to write about. On the flip side the posts that I’ve been the proudest of haven’t made much of an impact. There’s no right or wrong here just a disconnect of interest.

I’d like to thank everyone for reading and enjoying my writing over the past 6 years. Even though I’m closing the door on The Gay Gasp I’m leaving that door unlocked. I’m not ruling out the possibility of one day returning with more writing. For now though I must say good.

The Gay Gasp

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