40 Questions for the Future


  1. What if Donald Trump gets re-elected?
  2. How do we prevent Pulse from being forgotten?
  3. Will I end up turning into the cranky old man afraid of change that I hate?
  4. Will Queen Latifa and Tyler Perry ever come out?
  5. Why is sucking cock so incredibly wonderful?
  6. Is it possible to complain about social media without sounding like an old man yelling at the clouds?
  7. If we let conservative racists use the N word can we call them Nazis in return?
  8. Are you as excited as I am that Hulu will start streaming The Golden Girls in February?
  9. Who will win in the final face off, John Snow or Daenerys?
  10. When there is a study linking shitty behavior (messiness, ignoring texts, etc) to intelligence does that excuse the shitty behavior?
  11. Can “Now that Trump is the president I can’t be your friend on social media” be a new Hallmark card?
  12. When will Miss Piggy get the late night talk show I feel she deserves?
  13. If I wrote an advice book do you think they’d let me call it Advanced Faggotry?
  14. Do I have to pretend to have respect for someone after they buy a gun?
  15. Will my anxiety over passing out ever go away?
  16. Why isn’t there a fast food restaurant with the food quality of Whataburger and the drive through speed of McDonald’s?
  17. When will I finally get to see Hamilton?
  18. If you won the lottery would you stay in your current city or move?
  19. Will we ever lose our body issues?
  20. Will orgies ever be popular again?
  21. If given the option would you pick Donald Trump as president or a 3rd term for George W Bush?
  22. Where have all the cowboys gone?
  23. Are Trump voters excited about the future?
  24. Will I ever enjoy sci-fi fantasy?
  25. Is Lena Dunham a pioneering feminist or or just a whinny rich girl?
  26. Why aren’t there more gay comedians?
  27. Will bears ever be willing to openly admit to using steroids?
  28. Once marijuana is legal throughout the country will it become as lame as cigarettes are now?
  29. Will I ever have money in my savings account?
  30. Is it bad that I’m kind of hoping for another housing crash so that I’m able to afford a home?
  31. How long will it take for there to be an openly gay player in every major sport?
  32. Who’s Afraid of Virginia Wolf?
  33. Will Lorde ever release a second album?
  34. Can anyone successfully follow Anna Wintour as editor and chief of Vogue?
  35. Which part of history are we repeating?
  36. When will we have a gay president?
  37. Will there ever be a cartoon with characters who change clothes every episode?
  38. Will Apple ever truly surprise and excite customers at an iPhone launch again?
  39. When will I start attracting daddy lovers?
  40. Will this all work out in the end?

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