1. So is it The Great British Baking Show or The Great British Bake Off? (It’s Bake Off in the UK and Baking Show in the US)

2. I want to cover Paul’s face with my royal icing.

3. Why do they love ruining perfectly good pastry by putting pork and veal in it?

4. Why is Paul Hollywood into wearing clothes so much? Fuck that. I mean seriously I want to fuck that.

5. The British are so polite. Even though you’ve been eliminated you still gets a big group hug.

 

6. Those crystal blue eyes tho

7. I want Sue and Mel to host everything. Move over Tina and Amy.

 

8. It would be nice if Paul Hollywood would slap his penis against my face.

9. Mary Berry is the sassy British grandmother everyone needs.

10. Paul has the salt and pepper hair that dreams are made of.

11. I wonder if I can buy a proving drawer at Home Depot? Maybe Williams Sonoma?

12. I would ride Paul Hollywood harder than a roller-coaster at 6 Flags.

13. Why do they always sit so close together? It looks very uncomfortable.

14. I want to wear Paul’s jock strap as a face mask.

15. There are so many cakes that I’ve never heard of. Have you ever heard of a tennis cake before this?

16. I imagine Paul smells like cinnamon sugar after a hard work out.

17. Seriously Brits stop using meat and vegetables when you bake. Cut that shit out.

18. One last message for Paul Hollywood: I’ve heard that some people think you’re attractive. I’m not sure I see it… Personally I’d give you a 6.5 at best.

 

You can find The Great British Baking Show on Netflix and your local PBS station.