2016 Political Dictionary 

It’s easy to get sick of politics and just tune out of this seemingly never ending election. However if you’re with a group of people talking about current events you should still be able to contribute and follow along. Here’s a quick guide to some of the buzz words that you’ll hear a lot of.

GOP: Grand Old Party, a nickname for the Republican Party.

  • Used in a sentence: “This will be the death of the GOP.”

Xenophobia: intense or irrational dislike or fear of people from other countries.

  • Used in a sentence: “He’s relying on the xenophobia the older generation similar to the Brexit movement in the UK.”

Isolationist: a policy of remaining apart from the affairs or interests of other groups, especially the political affairs of other countries.

  • Used in a sentence: “In this global economy it’s impossible to sustain isolationist ideals.”

Privilege: a special right, advantage, or immunity granted or available only to a particular person or group of people.

  • Used in a sentence: “Voting for a 3rd party candidate is a privilege of the white middle class who won’t have to deal with the consequences of a Trump presidency.”

Demagogue: a political leader who seeks support by appealing to popular desires and prejudices rather than by using rational argument.

  • Used in a sentence: “Republicans have been fooled and taken over by a demagogue.”

Systemic Racism: racism that shows up in our lives across institutions and society such as employment, housing discrimination, government surveillance, incarceration, and drug arrests.

  • Used in a sentence: “We must work to change the systemic racism of our judicial system.”

Swing State: a US state where the two major political parties have similar levels of support among voters, viewed as important in determining the overall result of a presidential election. Examples include Florida, Virginia, and Ohio.

  • Used in a sentence: “Ohio is a must win swing state for any presidential candidate.”

TPP: The Trans Pacific Partnership is a 12-nation free trade agreement negotiated by the Obama administration. It’s designed to wipe out tariffs with member nations.

  • Used in a sentence: “Many of Bernie’s strongest supporters are making the TPP their biggest priority.”



Ghostbusters, Fox News, & TSwift



Bernie- I like Bernie but from the beginning I’ve always thought he wouldn’t do well as president. On day 1 of the DNC the hardcore Bernie supporters ignored his call for unity. This gives a good glimpse of the reasons why he wouldn’t make a good president. If his own supporters are ignoring his wishes how does he expect to lead the diverse general population? To his credit he’s been trying hard to get his Bernie-or-Busters on the H train but they’ve even boo’d him too. Those Bernie Busters really are our version of the Tea Party.

Ghostbusters- I loved the new Ghostbusters movie. It’s just a pure fun and silly summer comedy. Kate McKinnon steals every scene she’s in. I should mention that I have no history or opinion of the original GB. (I’m not sure I’ve ever actually seen it) This is worth mentioning only because when I’ve listened to reviews many people who were childhood fans of the original had mixed feelings. I urge everyone to go see it and try to separate it from the original and see it as its own movie. I’ll use Hairspray as an example. I deeply love the original Hairspray and it probably holds as much value to me as Ghostbusters does to the general public. When the remake came out in 2007 I was nervous that it would ruin the movie I loved so much. I watched the remake and enjoyed it for what it was. I wasn’t the old movie it was something different which made it a good movie on its own.

Fox News- I’ve started to include Foxnews.com in my daily news rotation. All of my news sources are all liberal leaning and I want to get a balanced perspective because no one is perfect. It’s always good to know what the other side is thinking and I’m curious to see the media that Trump supporters see. So far their headlines haven’t been the demonic calls for Hillary’s arrest that I expected. Either Fox News is having a problem with getting behind Trump or I’m not digging deep enough within the site. Truth be told I just do a general overview because I can only stomach so much.

Swiftwestashian- I recently listened to a podcast speculate that the recent controversy involving Taylor, Kim, and Kanye was all a government distraction. One of the panelists predicted that the three celebrities were asked to stir up a scandal as a way of distracting everyone from all of the terrible things going on in this country. The whole conversation was had in fun but it does beg the question of how much truth there is to it. I can honestly picture Obama calling up Kim K asking her to pull some sort of stunt to give the public something light hearted and frivolous to break up the constant barrage of negative headlines. If all this is true I predict Taylor and Kanye will open the VMA’s in September together causing a rating explosion.

The Best of Winona Ryder

With her new role in Stranger Things Winona Ryder reminds us why we love her.

The Crucible: This might seem like an odd choice but I LOVE The Crucible. Winona is at her best here playing the crazy and conniving Abigail Williams. In fact she seems to do her best work playing unbalanced characters.


Reality Bites: The epitome of 90’s cool. Reality Bites is a movie packed with quotable lines centering around film maker Lelaina Pierce. Add in Janeane Garofalo and I’m hooked.


Heathers: For the millennials who are unfamiliar Heathers is the original Mean Girls but in this case Cady kills Regina George. “Lick it up baby. Lick. It. Up.”


Black Swain: WR knocked it out of the park in this best picture contender. Her part as an aging ballerina was small but packed a punch.


Welcome Home Roxy Carmichael: One of the more obscure Winona movies from early in her career but it’s definitely worth watching. It was put out the same year Mermaids and Edward Scissorhands so not surprisingly it got slightly overlooked. Keep an eye out for the iconic all black bedroom.




Beetlejuice: She is the first person to utter the infamous Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice and her character Lydia is the ultimate goth princess. Long live Lydia.


Mermaids: Cher and Christina Ricci join WR in this movie about an unconventional mother of the 1960’s. Ryder brings heart and comedy to her role as the olderst daughter.


Dracula: Another in a series of films during her goth princess period. This was her first major serious movie and director by Francis Ford Coppola guided her to a great performance.


Girl Interrupted: A good movie and Ryder is perfectly cast as the depressed Susanna. Unfortunately for her she was overshadowed by then new comer Angelina Joli who nabbed an Oscar for it.


Little Women: A film version of the classic book comes to life and gave Winona one of her two Oscar nominations. Again this is case where another actress stole the show and Clair Dane’s death scene is the most memorable part of the movie.



Honorable Mention: Her TV guest appearances on Friends and Strangers With Candy.



I didn’t include Edward Scissorhands because I don’t think I’ve ever seen it.

9 Signs You’re Not Really Into Politics 

If you’re like me you pretend to be knowledgable about politics but in reality you’re just faking it. 

  1. You’re a middle class white man whose life has never changed much due to an election. 
  2. You only vote in presidential election years. 
  3. You can’t name any of your local politicians. 
  4. You were very angry and opinionated over the super delegate system back in March and now you’ve completely forgotten about it. 
  5. You’ll be very angry and opinionated about the electoral college system in November only to forget about it in December. 
  6. You’re not actually sure when Election Day is. 
  7. You know who you’re voting for but can’t list any of his/her policies. 
  8. Deep down you wish Obama could be president forever. 
  9. You’re thinking about voting for a third party candidate even though you never heard of the person or party until a month ago.

My Emmy Wishlist

If I were in charge of Hollywood and able to hand pick the winners of the 2016 Emmy’s the statues would be handed out at follows.

  • Drama Series: Game of Thrones
  • Because: Obviously



  • Comedy Series: Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
  • Because: An overdue win from last year.



  • Actress in a Drama: Tatianna Maslany
  • Because: Why not



  • Actor in a Drama: Kevin Spacey
  • Because: Surprisingly he’s never won for House of Cards



  • Actress in a Comedy: Lily Tomlin 
  • Because: She’s a national treasure



  • Actor in a Comedy: Aziz Ansari 
  • Because: Masters of None is a smart and sophisticated comedy.



  • Supporting Actress in a Drama: Lena Headey
  • Because: Bow to the queen!



  • Supporting Actor in a Drama: Kit Harrington
  • Because: As John Snow the country held their breath until he was brought back to life.

Game of Thrones


  • Supporting Actress in a Comedy: Kate McKinnon
  • Because: She’s brilliant on SNL as Hilary Clinton and Justin Beiber.

screen-shot-2015-04-17-at-60839-pm 750xx1862-1047-0-19


  • Supporting Actor in a Comedy: Tituss Burgess
  • Because: He’s one of the best characters on TV



  • Limited Series: The People v O.J. Simpson 
  • Because: It was outstanding! Addictive and outstanding.



  • Actress in a Limited Series: Sarah Paulson
  • Because: She deserves every award that has ever been created for her role as Marcia Clark.



  • Actor in a Limited Series: Courtney B Vance
  • Because: As Johnny Cochran he was integral to this amazing show.



  • Supporting Actress in a Limited Series: Regina King
  • Because: She’s survived in Hollywood for decades. I still remember her on 227



  • Supporting Actor in a Limited Series: David Schwimmer
  • Because: I still can’t believe how good he was as Robert Kardashian.



  • Variety Talk Show: Last Week Tonight w/ John Oliver
  • Because: This has replaced The Daily Show as the ultimate comedy newscast.



  • Reality Competition Show: Top Chef
  • Because: The Amazing Race can’t win again.



  • Host of Reality Competition Series: RuPaul
  • Because: This would be the most epic win of all time.




If I can’t have all of my picks them the most important ones are (in order of importance): Sarah Paulson, Rupaul, Lena Headey, Tituss Burgess, & Kate McKinnon.


The Tits List


The Tits List is everything that’s currently making me smile. All this stuff is the tits:

1. The Raising Cane’s Sandwich: This is my current fast food obsession. The chicken fingers are good but the sandwich is THE BEST! FYI Cane’s is replacing my former obsession Whataburger (which is still tasty AF).



2. TBRU Changing Things Up: Change is good. It’s a wonderful event that was getting a little stale. Sometime you need to cut off the branches of the bush to get new growth. Plus the only thing bears like better than going to bear events is complaining about them so this is like an early Christmas gift.



3. My Dad Wrote A Porno: A trio of Brits read the ‘erotic’ chapters written by the host’s father. This podcast is one of the funniest things I’ve heard in a long time. Everyone at work has given me confused looks because I keep bursting into fits of laughter.



4. Pictures From Bear Week: I genuinely enjoy seeing everyone’s pictures from PTown. Every photo is of happy bears hanging out with their friends and that’s a big improvement from most of the other stuff in my newsfeed.



5. Ghostbusters 2016: I can’t wait to see the all female reboot. These are 4 extreme funny ladies.



6. Stumbling Across Old Pictures of My Boyfriend on Flickr. Flickr is like a time capsule of Dallas parties from 2006-2010.


Cleanup: The Day After a Bear Pool Party

It’s 10am and your last guest left just 3 hours ago. Time to get moving and start putting your house and life back together. 

1. Items left behind for the Lost and Found bin include: something by Under Armour, flip flops, sunglasses, bathing suits, and dignity. Gather all the personal belongings left behind and take a picture of them for Facebook so guest can claim their lost and found items. 

2. You’ll be left with the cheapest vodka and rum available. They will be in gallon plastic jugs with in pronounceable names. 

3. Who brought Jäger?

4. The margarita machine rental company said 4 gallons of mix was enough for 50 people. You had 45 people and use about 9 or 10 gallons. The lesson for next year: Never trust a straight person’s alcohol math.

5. Luckily you have one kind hearted friend who started clean up while you were still getting handsy in the pool. God bless him. 

6. You bought too much food yet it still wasn’t enough. Now you have a stack of empty Domino’s boxes from the emergency midnight feeding. 

7. That drunk messy bitch who stayed way too late will be permanently uninvited next time. Although it was hilarious watching him try to get his drunk ass out of the pool. 

8. Remember to hose down the vomit in the bushes. 

9. His dick was bigger than you expected. 

10. Now that everyone is gone and your house is empty you’ll long for next weekend when you do it all again.