Month April 2016
Kimchi With A Glass of Lemonade
There have been several stories that have caught my attention recently so I thought it was a good time for a news update.
RuPaul will announce the top 3 on Monday’s episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race and I’m not looking forward to it. I hate to admit it but all signs point to Kim Chi going home. I’m not going on inside information just the basic facts of the show. Next week’s episode will be the one where they shoot the music video for RuPaul’s latest single. That means it’s a performance challenge where the queen’s dancing and lip syncing abilities will be tested. Unfortunately those are all of Kim’s weaknesses and I don’t see any of the other girls doing bad enough to justify going home over her. Chi Chi and Bob are proven performers so this challenge is in their favor. Naomi is the wild card but she’s been improving by leaps and bounds every episode so she’s got a lot of fight left in her. I hope I’m wrong and Kim surprises me with great dance skills or one of the other queens makes an unexpected mistake. Side note: I find it very interesting that they haven’t released the preview/commercial for next week’s episode yet.
Beyonce is the queen of media manipulation. I’m just as fascinated by Becky with the good hair as she wanted me to be. The rumors about Rachel Roy have been a smoldering fire ever since the elevator incident. Now with Roy’s clap back “Good hair don’t care” she basically added a gallon of kerosene to the flames. In the ultimate power move Beyonce has even started selling shirts that read “Boycott Beyonce.” I love it! However I’ve gotta wonder if this is all a huge made up scandal created just to suck us all in. I mean Roy’s response was so quick and perfect that you can almost imagine there are a team of directors and writers somewhere orchestrating the whole thing a la Wag the Dog. Side note, I’ll still don’t care enough to download Tidal.
Hamilton: I was listening to the podcast My Brother My Brother and Me’s 300th episode and they had former guests leave congratulatory messages. I was shocked to hear one of the messages was from Hamilton creator Lin Manuel Miranda. I adored him before and this only adds bonus points to his already perfect score. In the message I was surprised to hear him mention of his Brazilian husband. Looking back at it I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that a musical theater creator is gay but I honestly never thought about it. All I can say is that I’m super pumped to have him on our team.
How has the Dennis Hastert story not gotten more attention? I’ve seen a few articles here and there but when a former Speaker of the House admits to being a child molester it should be on the cover of every paper. Jared from fucking Subway was a bigger story. WTF?! Situations like this make me realize how shitty our news media has become.
I’m starting to despise the Huffington Post app. For one thing 85% of it is made up of crazy op ed pieces that are passed off as legitimate news. I’m getting tired of reading the opinions of nonsense people with no more authority on the subject than you or I. Secondly have you ever notice that the app itself will randomly switch you over to the App Store while you’re in the middle of reading an article? It’s happened several times when my hands are nowhere near the screen so this is not a case of accidentally tapping an add. I haven’t deleted it yet but the time is coming.
RuPaul’s Drag Race S8 E8
1. Finally Derrick is gone! Bye gurl.
2. Chi Chi cracked me up during the puppet mini challenge. “Joke joke joke purse first. Joke joke joke purse first.”
3. I loved Naomi’s brutally honest conversations with Derrick in the work room. I totally agree with what she said. My favorite part was when she said, “Really? Has no one ever told you this before?”
4. Kim Chi also nailed it by calling out Bob on her makeup. Everyone was thinking it.
5. Kim ruled the runway and had my favorite look in every category. Her Mama Realness look was my favorite or the night. David Sedaris had it right when he noticed the sad disconnected performance as a metaphor for the relationship. Honorable mention goes to Naomi and Chi Chi for their Eleganza Extravaganza looks.
6. When Bob walked out in her Mama Realness look it seemed like she stole Chi Chi’s awful presidential look.
7. Bob was in the bottom two simply because he was the worst of the best.
8. This season has been filled with surprising upsets and I was preparring myself for Derrick to somehow win. Thank god that didn’t happen.
9. Bob did a much better job lip syncing then I expected. She legitimately won that one and was giving me Ditta Ritz realness. Props to Bob.
10. The final 3 will all depend on next week’s challenge. An acting or dance challenge will favor Bob and Chi Chi where as a fashion challenge will favor Naomi and Kim.
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RuPaul’s Drag Race S8 E7
1. As soon as the episode opened with Thorgy saying “Derrick and Chi Chi are next to go” I knew she was on the chopping block. She was my favorite and will surely be missed.
2. I’ll give her credit Chi Chi had a better lip sync. I think everyone knew as soon as the music started that Thorgy was going home.
3. I didn’t think Derrick’s add was funny. I would’ve judged everyone individually and put her in the bottom two instead of Thorgy. (Chi Chi would’ve still won the lip sync)
4. I wish the queens that are left were more well rounded (like Thorgy). Bob is funny but her looks aren’t polished. Kim Chi has stunning makeup but moves awkwardly. Naomi has her look down but lack a strong personality. Chi Chi can perform but also lacks polished looks. Derrick is just basic on all levels. I think back to Bianca and even though her strength was comedy she always had a well made polished look. It wasn’t always the most original but it always looked well done.
5. This season seems to one where good queens are going home unusually early. Acid Betty, Thorgy, and even Robbie Turner still deserve to be around.
6. Episode 7 was the flashback episode. It can also be called the “It was done better that other time” episode. The runway was inspired by Detox and no one on the runway did it better than her. Naomi was paying homage to Raven which I appreciate but how about you come up with an original look? Chi Chi’s performance was very reminiscent of Latrice Royale’s version of Natural Woman and Latrice did it first and better.
7. Everyone I assumed was going to be in the top 3 is going home so I’ve decided to readjust my strategy. My top 3 prediction is: Derrick, Chi Chi, and Naomi.
8. I don’t really expect her to win but I’m on Kim’s team. Like Thorgy, she’s one of the few left that I can’t compare to a past queen. A true original.
9. I’m obviously going to still watch the rest of season 8 but to be honest I really don’t care now that Thorgy is gone.
10. Like everyone I have my biases so I was curious too see what other people thought. Here’s a look at who’s got the most followers on Instagram:
- 248k Kimchi
- 151k Bob the Drag Queen
- 119k Thorgy Thor
- 110k Naomi Smalls
- 82k Derrick Berry
- 46.8k Chi Chi Devayne
Calm Down Queen
What makes you worry? Does an unanswered text mean he’s mad at you? Does your upcoming vacation give you thoughts of a plane crash in the ocean? Does a sore throat automatically signal a deadly disease? We all worry about something at some point. So often it’s in those uncertain moments that our minds starts to go into overdrive. Common sense is quickly forgotten and the worse case scenario becomes as real as fact. However for every unanswered text or nervous flight taken there is a boring end to the story. The reality of life is very mundane compared to our imaginations.
Bad things can happen but they are few and far between. The crazy stories you see on the news are very rare and that’s exactly why they make the news. I understand though that the struggle is real. It’s hard to avoid going down the rabbit hole of worry. Whenever anxiety and worrying has gotten the better of me I later discovered there was little reason for it. I learned the lesson several years ago when I was on vacation with a large group of friends. Weeks prior to the trip I was told there was going to be a large celebratory (and expensive) dinner at a nice restaurant. Emails bounced back and forth in order to plan every detail of this very important dinner. Cut to the night of the dinner and myself and two other friends got separated from the larger group during the day but we knew we’d see them all later for dinner. I got dressed and made it to the restaurant before anyone else. As time ticked by it was clear the 8 other people weren’t coming. This is when I started to worry. Had something bad happened? Was there an emergency? Although cell phones were new they had already become common but still there were no answers to calls and texts. Hours went by. Worry worry worry. Later I learned that no emergency or harm had come but rather everyone had gotten drunk at a bar and simply forgotten. In that moment I learned this very important life lesson: calm down because the reality is far more boring that what I assumed. I remember thinking, “Wait, after all that worrying they were just drunk and lazy?” It was kind of a let down. For all my worrying and mental anguish it was actually the laziest case scenario. They weren’t dead in a ditch or sitting in jail they were just too drunk to return a text. I’m reminded of that vacation every time my brain starts to go down the “what if” rabbit hole. I’ve had to learn to purposely turn off my brain in those moments. Even though it’s easy for my mind to jump to the worse case scenario mostly likely it’s laughably as simple as absent minded forgetfulness.
Even though I’ve learned the lesson it’s something I need to remind myself of. I grew up with an anxious mother who always worried and she passed some of that on to me and my sister. For example, a couple years ago my sister called home around 10:30 right after my mom had gone to bed. Thinking she might still be awake my dad walked upstairs to give her the phone. My mother got angry at my sister for the late phone call because she was certain (and this is a direct quote) “you were calling to tell me Joey had a heart attach.” This was one of her ongoing fears and she often told me she was afraid I would die before I was 35 if I didn’t eat better. Flash forward to last month and it’s easy to see why I had a panic attack when WebMD suggested I was having a heart attack. The panic caused me to faint which lead to an ER visit. After several hours of X-rays and blood tests everything came back 100% normal and healthy. As it turns out it was just bad heartburn. Not that I wanted something to be wrong but it’s embarrassing and frustrating to spend 4 hours and $150 for a doctor to tell you that you’re fine. All that time and money was just the universe’s way of reminding me that the reality is a lot more boring than my imagination.
My unwarranted medical anxiety aside, this lesson can be applied to everyday life. Reality it boring. Don’t waste time worrying about the safety of your next flight. Instead focus on whether or not your metal cock ring will set off TSA alarms. Did your new boyfriend not return your text? Avoid the he doesn’t like me anymore rabbit hole and realize that he probably just fell asleep. Your reality is rarely as interesting as your imagination. Calm down queen.
Throwback Thursday: RuPaul’s Drag Race
Season 3 of RuPaul’s Drag Race began with a casting special featuring audition videos from all of the chosen queens along with many who had been passed over. It’s was kind of like Ru’s version of the auditions on Anerican Idol. There are tons of crazy audition tapes from people you’ve never heard of but what’s fascinating is that there are a few faces you’ll defiantly recognize.
I wish I could provide you a link to watch the episode for free but it seems like World of Wonder has pulled all free versions from the internet. It appears to only be available for purchase on sites like iTunes. Not to worry, I took the time to take screen shots of all the girls who weren’t picked for season 3 but went on to later glory.
1. Alaska. (She’s the unofficial star of season three’s Casting Extravaganza showing up multiple times.)
2. Dax Exclamationpoint
3. Chad Michaels
4. Mrs. Kasha Davis
6. Jasmine Masters
Pay for and watch Season 3 Episode 1 on iTunes, Amazon, or YouTube.
RuPaul’s Drag Race S8 E6
1. I unfollowed the RPDR sub Reddit because their predictions were too accurate and I didn’t want to spoil future episodes. They correctly predicted Acid Betty’s departure weeks in advance.
2. I wish Ru’s runway look was Wizard of Oz inspired.
3. Naomi Small nailed this challenge at a very pivotal point in the competition. Both the looks she made were fierce!
4. Kim’s look was great but I didn’t get Wicked Witch from it at all.
5. RuPaul always has her favorites and it’s obvious Chi Chi is one of them. She should’ve been in the bottom two.
6. Bob’s look had nothing to do with Glenda The Good Witch. Basic as fuck.
7. Robbie Turner is talented but very inconsistent. Plus it looked like she just redesigned Kim’s look from episode 1.
8. I think overall Derrick is terrible but she totally won that lip sync. However she lucked out with the song choice. I suspect an older song or one that wasn’t as high energy would’ve sent her packing.
9. What the fuck was the point of that interpretive dance number?! There has to be some behind the scenes scoop.
10. (Updated) Top 3 prediction is: Kim Chi, Bob the Drag Queen, and Thorgy. Naomi and Chi Chi both have a shot at 4th place but it all comes down to whether the next few challenges will be acting or fashion themed.
At What Point Does It Become Sex?
- Sucking dick
- Getting jerked off by someone else
- Jerking off side by side
- Getting pissed on
- Nipple Play
- Dry humping
I’ve had this discussion with a lot of people over the years and everyone’s opinion of what constitutes sex tends to be different. Those that are strict view sex as meaning anal only and everything else is categorized as just messing around. I tend to have a much broader definition which is hard to define in specific terms but usually can be best described as when it doubt it counts. I’ve noticed that a person’s answer sometimes varies depending on whether they want to down play or up sell their past. If a guy is trying to convince you he hasn’t had sex with that many people he might be leaving out some of the outliers in order to swing the pendulum in his favor. Conversely a young guy newly out might beef up his resume with statistics that are more smoke and mirrors than hard facts. Like a hairy chested daddy, there are a lot of gray areas when it comes to sex.
There are inherent problems with both the broad and strict definitions of sex. The strict view of anal-only doesn’t do well under scrutiny. For example if a guy has never had anal sex but has sucked 100 dicks does that make him a virgin? I think not. The broad definition isn’t without its own problems. Being so broad opens the flood gates and it becomes a lot harder to draw a line. Sure anal and oral are easy to include but what about a random grope fest with some dick tugs? Sex or no? Where do you draw the line? Some people think that if you didn’t cum it didn’t count. Again this theory is hard to defend because there are so many circumstances that can be used as a counter point.The location of the act can often impact how it’s viewed. If you are kissing a guy in a bar with your hands down his pants it might be categorized as messing around and not sex. Although if you were to take the same actions but switch the location to a bed the tone of the whole scene changes and you might be more likely to consider it sex.
Do you consider sex to be a very specific act or a general umbrella term for a category of acts? While I tend to go with a broader definition I don’t think everything listed above should be considered sex. However as gay men it’s fun to remember that everything on that list would end a straight person’s marriage.
RuPaul’s Drag Race S8E5
1. Why didn’t Naomi Smalls do Whoopi Goldberg from the Color Purple like she planned? Bob didn’t do Sister Act Whoopi so there wasn’t any conflict.
2. Chi Chi was hilarious as Earths Kit. She definitely deserved to be in the top 3. She reminds me a lot of Adore Delano: cheep trashy looks but loads of charm and personality.
3. What was Acid Betty doing? She’s always so polished but as Nancy Grace she looked like a trainwreck. That hair, that makeup?! Get it together.
4. I’m starting to warm up to Robbie even though her Dianna Vrreeland was awful. She redeemed herself on the runway though as a Rockford Peach.
5. Bob The Drag Queen was much funnier as Carol Channing. Good choice to switch. She also had my favorite Madonna look on the runway.
6. Derrick Berry as Britney was mediocre at best. However he was saved because there were several worse characters. Also Tatianna did it better during season 2.
7. As a whole this Snatch Game felt lack luster.
8. 4 kimonos?! What the fuck? Thorgy did it best. Kim’s was beautiful but not Madonna enough. Derrick had shitty makeup and hair and Naomi wasn’t actually wearing a kimono. That was just underwear and a robe.
9. I wish Acid Betty had shown more emotion on the runway. Her “too cool for school” attitude came off like she didn’t care either way.
10. Fun Fact: Jinx Monsoon is the only Snatch Game winner to go on to win the entire show.