I’m celebrating the holiday season with a travel themed 12 Days of Christmas list.
12 Drummers Drumming
Everyone should make it a point to visit the Big Apple during the Christmas season so that you can enjoy all the wonderful sites the city has to offer. While you’re there be sure to get tickets to see a taping of The Tonight Show. Host Jimmy Fallon chose The Roots as his house band and band leader Questlove is widely considered one of the top 10 best drummers in music. Listen to his expert beats with his masterful drumming and laugh along to Fallon’s hilarious comedy.
11 Pipers Piping
The idea of a piper piping makes me instantly think of smoking pot. Side note: Do the kids today say pot or weed? What better place to smoke up than the luscious green mountains of Colorado where it is now legal. I associate the Centennial State with nature so if you take a trip make sure to go outside and enjoy the scenery. Visit Denver to walk around city, stop by Vail for the perfect ski weekend, or just simply drive through the scenic mountains. Personally I’ve never been to Colorado but I’m planning on visiting in 2016.
10 Lords A Leaping
Hearing the term Lords A Leaping instantly gives me the mental images of well-dressed fancy Victoria era men leaping across puddles. With that in mind let’s celebrate day 10 with a trip to London England. We’ll take a quick hop across the pond to enjoy the numerous sites and attractions that London has to over. Of course our first stop will be a tour of British parliament and the House of Lords. These men (and few women) have their political seat based on appointment and birthright not election. I can’t promise that you’ll see them leap but they do wear fun old school Renaissance style robes. After the tour of government there are still plenty of other things to do and see. The Tower of London was my personal favorite but there are plenty of palaces, museums, quaint shops, and busy city centers to explore.
9 Ladies Dancing.
With a theme of 9 Ladies Dancing there is no question that our destination is the hetero city of sin Las Vegas. Unfortunately we can’t see Goddess at the Stardust but with Nomi Malone as our spirit guide we’ll see every topless cabaret the city has to offer. During the day we’ll reminisce about Puppy Chow over lunch at the Forum shops before hitting up some designer shops. By the time we’re done we will have seen enough tig ol bitties to make even Larry Flint blush.
8 Maids A Milking
Milk is delicious and cheese is even better. Nothing makes me happier than to see a fully stocked cheese platter at a party. What better way to celebrate the 8th day than a trip to the dairy farms of Vermont. Only a couple hours drive from Boston, the Green Mountain state is wonderfully rural destination that is perfect for people who want to be alone and look at trees. We’ll stay in an authentic log cabin and gorge ourselves on endless amounts of cheddar. If we’re lucky we’ll even get the chance to milk a sweet teat ourselves.
7 Swans A Swimming
Although they look beautiful, swans are mean and nasty animals when encountered in nature. To enjoy the 7th day we’ll instead go indoors and enjoy the famous ballet Swan Lake. The Russian ballet was composed by Tchaikovsky and the historic city of St. Petersburg is the best place to see it performed. Be sure to pack plenty of cold weather clothes because this is the land where winter came from.
6 Geese A Laying
I’ll be honest and admit that the 6th day was the hardest day to plan for. Geese and laying eggs isn’t the most inspiring subject on earth. However I discovered the perfect destination for our journey. The California brewery named The Bruery has created a seasonal line of beers around the 12 Days of Christmas. We’ll travel to their OC headquarters to sample their appropriately themed 6 Geese A Laying selection.
5 Golden Rings
Your first instincts might lead you to celebrate the memorable 5th day at Tiffanys or another famous jewelry store however that feels a little stale. Instead I was inspired by the 5 multicolored rings of the Olympics. To celebrate day 5 we’ll jet down to Brazil which will host the 2016 summer Olympic games. After touring the facilities we’ll take time to watch some track and field events or sit through a tense round of gymnastics. This is the dream trip for all my chaser chaser friends out there because the city will be filled with nothing but muscular hairless men with well built glutes who wear nothing but spandex.
4 Calling Birds
When it comes to the 12 Days of Christmas day 4 has had the most variation of any of the days. While Calling Birds have become the standard, there are also versions that list them as Colly birds and colored birds. Despite the slight variations the point of the day is to celebrate birds. The best place to do that is in Singapore at the world’s largest bird sanctuary. We’ll spend all day exploring Jurong Bird Park to find as many species of birds as possible.
3 French Hens
Any destination in France is wonderful but we’re going to focus our journey on the wine country where we can eat and drink our way through the glorious French culture of cuisine. The spirit of Julia Child will guide us through our journey of culinary delights.
2 Turtle Doves
Turtle Doves are small birds that are found all around the Mediterranean Sea. That’s as good an excuse as any to get on board a big ship for a week long Mediterranean cruise. Cruising around the Medi is one of my ultimate dream vacations and you all are welcome to join me. Days at sea can be spent by the pool or at the buffet while we plan all of our activities for when we pull up to our next port. With stops in Spain, Morocco, Italy, and Greece there will not be a lack of options.
A Partridge in a Pear Tree
No one has built a Partridge Family museum yet so we’ll instead have to celebrate the first day by traveling to the place where pears are plentiful. The majority of the world’s pears are actually grown in the Pacific Northwest so Portland Oregon will act be the perfect host. We’ll pass our time in a local coffee shop snacking on pear tarts and dressed in our best flannel all the whole liking everything ironically.