Shame Bon•er (noun)- Being ashamed of your sexual attraction toward someone because you dislike them as a person. The shame of getting aroused by someone you hate. “I have a total shame boner for Rick Santorum.”

I have a shame boner for the Noodles & Beef guy. There is so much shallow vanity  involved in his pictures that it makes my soul hurt deep inside. He and his band of merry muscle pups prance around with locks around their necks and steroid needles in their butts. Shirts are busting at the seems (if worn at all) and waste bands barely cover the bush. He’s the epitome of our shallow selfie obsessed culture and yet I still can’t get enough. My dick drools over every picture I see. One of his pictures is all I need to jerk off. While the jerk session might be quick the aftertaste of shame lasts much longer. I should be better than this yet I can’t seem to muster the strength to unfollow him on Tumblr or Instagram.

Congratulations you win Noodles & Beef. Your powers are just too strong.

 

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All pictures via Noodlesandbeef.com.