Over the next month or so many of us will travel back home to visit our immediate and extended family. Traveling back home always brings it’s own set of challenges as we have to revert back to our family friendly G-rated selves.
Pack– A fleece jacket or vest will be your lifesaver. Fleece is light weight and will keep you warm and toasty as the temperatures drop. Pick up a fleece vest if you’re a thicker bear who’s tends to overheat easily. Another pro of fleece about fleece is that it exists at high fancy price points as well as cheaper down to earth options. There’s something for everyone.
Avoid- Down jackets and vests. Just because they sell something doesn’t mean you should by it. Puffy down jackets are the perfect example. Every year down it featured in every store despite it being a very problematic clothing item. It adds a lot of unneeded bulk to bears who usually have their own natural padding which can cause us to look like the Stay Puff Marshmallow Man. In addition to body proportion problems a down jacket is also a very dated look. It reminds me of the late 90’s and early 2000’s when NSYNC was blowing up the record charts. Stay away.
Read- Troublemaker by Leah Remini. Leah Remini has finally written the book we’ve all been waiting for. She’s finally dishing the dirt on her escape from Scientology and it’s the perfect book for a long drive or flight. I haven’t read it yet but you can be certain it’ll be with my on my flight home on Thursday. (It goes without saying that I’ll be listening to the audio book. I never actually read books)
Avoid- Anything book by a Republican presidential candidate. Trust me you’re only going to make yourself mad. Holidays bring on enough stress so there’s no need to add in more.
Watch– The Great British Baking Show. Going home for the holidays usually means you’re going to be staying with family. With so many diverse options for television it’s best to stick to something that’s very G rated. The Great British Baking Show is a wonderfully charming show reality competition that people of all ages can enjoy.
Avoid- HBO or Netflix Original programming. You might get the idea to turn them onto something new like Aziz Ansari’s Master of None or Game of Thrones on HBO. Avoid this instinct at all costs. As jaded adults who see porn almost as soon as we unlock our phones we quickly forget how sexual these programs can be. With sensor requirements there is rarely a G-rated episode. No one wants to give granny a heart attack from medieval tits on GOT. Save those for the parties of just you and your friends.
Listen- 25 by Adele. Everyone can agree that Adele is wonderful. If you don’t like her than I assume you’re a soulless monster. Of course I’m kidding. (not really)
Avoid- Drake, Miley Cyrus, and Justin Bieber. You’ll find yourself tirelessly defending rap as a legitimate art form, Miley’s crazy outfits, and Justin’s crazy antics. Save your breathe because you’re never going to win them over.
Click- Clips from the show Lip Sync Battle. This competition show is perfect for entertaining your family. Avoid watching full episodes by searching out the best clips online. I highly recommend Joseph Gordon Levitt doing Rhythm Nation and Anne Hathaway doing Wrecking Ball. Also look for Emma Stone doing Runaround by Blues Travelers on The Tonight Show.
Avoid- Letting anyone hold your phone. Never give your unlocked phone over to a family member. God only knows what they’ll see if they start wildly tapping the screen like a toddler playing Wack-A-Mole. No good can come of it. I prefer the excuse “It’s only at 5% and I don’t want to waste the battery.”
Discuss- Celebrity make ups and break ups. It’s a pretty safe and neutral current events topic to discuss with your parents. Gwen and Blake’s new relationship is a good place to start followed quickly by Gwen and Blake’s respective divorces. Any disagreements can be chalked up to those “crazy Hollywood types.”
Avoid- The Syrian Refugees, Republican presidential candidates, and Caitlyn Jenner. Like so much above save yourself the trouble of trying to change anyone’s mind. They’re old and stuck in their ways and you’re little speech about diversity and acceptance is going to fall on def ears.