As I get older I hope ___________

1. I never become basic.
2. I am always accepting of change and progress.
3. I never take myself too seriously.
4. Technology never scare me.
5. I have the self control to stay off social media when I’m depressed.
6. I always take pride in my outfit.
7. I lose some of my spite and stubbornness.
8. Charlie Sheen’s career only gets worse.
9. I find a love of fitness.
10. I hold on to my gift of perspective.
11. I still find time to let loose and get messy.
12. I always value others for their personalities and actions first and their looks second.
13. I don’t let fear make my decisions.
14. Missy Elliot has a major comeback.
15. I learn the value of saving money.
16. I have patience with my parents.
17. I am always self-aware.
18. I don’t take my friends and family for granted.
19. I continue to travel.
20. I slow down and avoid speeding tickets.
21. I always have a creative outlet.
22. I add new a Bucket List item for every one I cross off.
23. I never become famous.
24. My sister finds true love.
25. I never become a bullshit person.
26. I get Russ an awesome gift for our 20th anniversary.

When I travel I like to listen to books on tape in order to pass time on the plane. On my recent trip home to Connecticut I was having trouble finding any quality books to listen to. I decided to take a cue from my boyfriend and rent movies through iTunes. Once downloaded you have 30 days to start watching the movie. Once you press play you have 24 hours before the movie expires. It was great. I highly recommend it for your next trip.

The Dog

The Dog is a documentary about the real life man (John Wojtowicz) who inspired the movie A Dog Day Afternoon. This is one of the most unique and interesting life stories that I’ve seen. Wojtowicz grew up in Brooklyn and fought in the Vietnam War and like many men of the time got married shortly after returning home combat. As a self-described romantic John enjoyed sex with many different people both male and female and therefore it was hard for him to stay faithful. He ended up failing in love with a trans women named Ernie (later Elizabeth Eden) who wanted to get a sex change operation. The two even had a commitment ceremony that John’s mother attended. Without the money for the operation John, along with friend Sal and Robbie, decided to rob a bank so the woman he loved could get her surgery. A bisexual Vietnam vet who robs a bank to pay for his girlfriend’s sex change is not a story you hear everyday. The documentary provides plenty of interviews with him so you can witness his outgoing personality. I love the fact that throughout it all he has no shame for his life. He simply fell in love and did what he thought he needed to do to. Genitals and gender were never an issue. His story even weaves through the beginnings of the gay rights movement for which he was an active participant. One of my favorite stories is when he tells us about the night before the bank robbery when he and Sal took turns fucking Robbie. I wonder if a pre-robbery gay fuck scene is in the Al Pacino movie? The Dog is both funny and touching. Definitely check this one out. What’s even better is that it was part of a $.99 documentary rental promotion.

Pride

Pride isn’t a documentary but the story is still true.  In the early 1980’s a group on gay British activists decided to use their fundraising skills to help striking miners. I loved this movie. The story is so incredibly touching that I admit I found myself crying on the plane as I watched it. I also loved learning about stories from other countries gay rights movements. I think too often we assume that American gay rights history, such as Stonewall, is considered the history for every gay person across the globe. Every country has their own stories and their own histories. These gay British men and women fought for miners despite having no stake in the outcome. They simply saw fellow humans that needed help and recognized the similarities of their struggles. This movie really got to me. I really was touched to see that the mining union did and continue to be a major supporter of the gay rights movement in Britain. A+

The Princess and the Frog

The Princess and the Frog is one Disney’s animated movies that I missed. After seeing it mentioned in a few Buzzfeed articles I decided to add it to my must-watch list. However as one of Disney’s more obscure princess movies it’s can be very hard to find. Don’t bother looking on Netflix or Redbox. I honestly enjoyed it but I can see why it didn’t make more of an impact. It was good but nothing about it really stood out. It reminded of Brave, another forgotten princess movie. Bother are quality films but lack that special something to turn it into Frozen. Disney buffs should definitely make it a point watch this one. For everyone else, I recommend The Princess and the Frog if you run across it on television.

P.S. Yes Oprah is the voice of the mother.

This is who I want on the next All Stars season. Fan art photos courtesy of Chad Sell Comics.

1. Katya

2. Alaska

3. Detox

4. Ongina

5. Alyssa Edwards

6. Adore Delano

7. Milk

8. Pearl 

9. Gia Gunn

10. BendelaCreme

11. Laganga Estranga

12. Willam

P.S. Alaska absolutely must win All Stars!

1. Snaps to John Cena. He was legitimately funny and my favorite part of Trainwreck.
2. Chicken fingers are 50% of my diet
3. A perfect flight means wi-fi and sitting next to an empty seat.
4. What ever happened to Jenny Jones?
5. Last weekend I pretended to be overly offended by someone just so they would leave me alone. It worked.
6. They should remake Mary Poppins.
7. From now on I’m going to give every celebrity one free gay slur pass. But like Spider-Man says, you only get one.
8. Netflix and other streaming services have saved the sitcom genre.
9. I think the Trans community is going to start to break away and cut ties with the gay community. Gender and sexuality are in fact two totally separate things.
10. There hasn’t been a good gay movie in a while.
11. I instantly assume someone is a selfish asshole if all the complain about it not being able to water their lawn.
12. I don’t have the guts to unfriend everyone I want to.
13. I’m excited that in 2015 I’m getting to visit two states that I’ve never been to.
14. Cute dog Instagram accounts excite me more than hot bear Instagram accounts.
15. I roll my eye at everyone who has “Bear” in their Facebook name.
16. Why didn’t Melissa McCarthy’s movie Spy get more attention? It was seriously funny.
17. How awesome is Barack Obama?!
18. On my trip home this weekend I’m going to keep a tally of how many times I hear, “Have you lost more weight?”
19. You can get good decorating ideas by looking up expensive homes for sale in trendy gay neighborhoods.
20. I just unfriended someone on Facebook because his response to the Bill Cosby accusers was “What were they expecting?” (He wasn’t being sarcastic)
21. Dear Apple, please release the new iPhone early so I’ll have it before going to Hawaii.
22. I need to start packing.

For the hot straight bear(s) in your life. 
  

I know I’m a late comer to the Garfunkel and Oates movement but here are my two of my favorite songs by the comedic song duo.

If you haven’t yet watch the Netflix show Garfunkel and Oats or look up their many Youtube videos.

As our First Lady, Michelle Obama must be poised at all-times regardless of her inner thoughts and urges. She might not always agree with her husband but they must present a united front. For example when she meets Vladimir Putin she may want to punch him in the face but she knows she has to be the picture of politeness and not let her emotions get the better of her.  I coined the term Michelle Obama Moments for these types of situations. When I first started dating Russ I realized that I now had someone else’s feeling to consider. When I was single I had the luxury of being able to speak my mind whenever I wanted because no one had to deal with the consequences except me. I started using the term to refer to those moments when I chose to smile politely instead of calling out someone’s bullshit behavior because it wasn’t appropriate for the situation. In a relationship we both have to be considerate of the other person’s feelings and I know that my straight forward honesty isn’t always welcomed by everyone. I might not like everyone Russ does (and vise versa) but that doesn’t mean I should be rude to them. Instead I just repeat the phrase to myself over and over again like a mantra. Kind of like Jinx Monsoon’s, “Water off a ducks back.” Michelle Obama moments were officially born. I’ve never had a problem with those initial M.O. moments because they benefited my relationship and that always makes me feel good. In fact I often pat myself on the back when considering my self-control at the end of such a night.

As I get older Michelle Obama Moments are becoming increasingly more common in situations that have nothing to do with my relationship. I know there are always going to be situations where I must keep my mouth shut and some of those situations are unavoidable. When the management team at my job recently changed to all new inexperienced bosses my fake smiles got me through many long meetings. Everyone has to deal with that kind of work bullshit but now the phenomenon has started to bleed into the rest of my personal life.  It’s almost as if I flicked on the switch of politeness and I can’t turn it off. I find myself biting my tongue more and more just to avoid self-imposed awkwardness. I hold back because I genuinely don’t want to be too harsh and everyone isn’t always fond of my sometimes brutal honesty. But where should I draw the line because it’s becoming clear that honesty isn’t always the best policy? I don’t want to be rude but I also don’t want to get to the point where politeness turns into dishonesty and by keeping quiet causes me to deny my genuine feelings. I guess I’m having trouble finding the balance between politeness and honesty. Is this what it’s like being a politician? Russ even think’s I don’t need to be stay silent all the time. He told me just to open my mouth and let the chips fall where they may. But as I said before it’s a hard switch to turn off. 

I also bring all this up because I’ve noticed a direct correlation between honesty and my mood or rather my M.O.Moments and my bad moods. The more I hold things in the grumpier I become. For example, I keep my heads phones on at work a lot to avoid having to deal with the people around me. Keeping my mouth shut feels like a very awkward state to me and therefore my angst grows like a balloon. I need to learn how to let air out of the balloon slowly so it doesn’t explode in someone’s face. Again it’s all about the tricky art of balance. To older readers this may sound like millenial whining but I really hate how political life is getting.  Maybe honesty is a benefit of youth and silence is a skill of adulthood. Or maybe I just need to learn how to fake it better. Either way I’d make a shitty politician. 

Here are some uplifting and positive news stories to help brighten your day.

Caitlyn Jenner at the ESPYs

I think it’s great that Caitlyn Jenner was honored with the Arthur Ash Courage Award. There have been a vocal few who have criticized the choice saying there are other people more deserving and that she is only winning because it’s gets the show more publicity. I’ll skip over the fact that CJ is one of the most deserving recipients considering the award is for courage and get to their specific points of critique. It’s true that having her on the show does increase attention and viewership and it’s also true that the Kardashian media machine is probably orchestrating it all from behind the scenes. However this is one of those moments when it’s easy to get distracted by the small details and miss the bigger picture. Take a moment and step back and realize that in 20 years Caitlyn’s coming out will still be remembered and talked about as a major moments for the Trans community. You might not like how she got here but that doesn’t detract from the impact she’s has and will have.

Trans people in military

Snaps for the military who this week decided to allow Trans people to serve openly. I’m impressed because they did this of their own volition. There wasn’t decades of long hard-fought battles and instead the military for the first time chose to be ahead of the pact. Remember how hard it was for gays to win the right to serve openly? Secretary of Defense Ashton Carter even called the ban on Trans people “outdated.” For an institution with such a conservative history I recognize the amount of progress they’ve made. Well done.  

The 2015 Emmy nominations

The Primetime Emmy nominations (television) were announced today and this year the television academy did well. Of course there are always going to be points of contention but overall they did a good job of spreading the love around. The bright spots were:

• Taraji P Henson for Lead Actress for her terrific portrayal of Cookie on Empire.
• Tituss Burgess for Best Supporting Actor for Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. His nomination literally made my afternoon.
• Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt for Best Comedy. The academy dogged my epic rage by not ignoring UKS.
• Jane Krakowski even got a nod for Supporting Actress in a Comedy.
• Lily Tomlin for for Lead Actress on Grace and Frankie.
• Lisa Kudrow for the Comeback
• Kate McKinnon for Supporting Actress on SNL
• Amy Schumer got tons of love with an acting nomination as well as one for her show.

Thank god The Big Bang Theory and much of the Modern Family cast was finally forgotten about. Listen up Emmy voters. You’ve done half of the work already. Now you just have to turn these new nominations into winners. All of Modern Family needs to lose. Allison Janney needs to lose. Most importantly, either Taraji P Henson or Viola Davis MUST win. The only old white person allowed to win is Lily Tomlin. Make it happen!

Tina + Amy = Tiny? or Tamy?

Long live cargo shorts!

1. Extra leg room for thick thighs. Thank god for thick thighs. They save lives you know.

2. More pockets to hold your stuff. No one wants pockets over stuffed with keys, wallets and cell phones. There should only be one bulge in your pants. Even worse is when a pocket is too small and the phone sticks out… so rachet.

3. They’re classic, not trendy. Trends come and go quickly. You can count on cargos for longevity.

4. Plaid! Liven up any look with a pop of plaid. Everything from vibrant multicolor madras to a simple blue and gray gingham.

5. You already own them. The fashion industry is a business and they need to make you buy new clothes. Cargo short being labeled as a don’t just means you’ll have to spend money on the newest do. Don’t be fooled.

6. Cargo shorts go with everything. No matter what type of shirt you have on, cargos are the staple of summer.

7. They are the A-line skirt  for men. If you’ve got a thick upper body it’s a good idea to balance it out with a wider bottom. Slim fit shorts weren’t designed with big sexy bellies in mind. While we all love the taste of an ice cream cone but we don’t want to be the shape of one.