Getting To Know the Gay Gasp

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Most of my early readers were just my close friends however over the years my audience has grown and some of you might not know me as well. Now is a good time to tell you a some of the more interesting facts about me.

  1. I’ve visited every continent except Antarctica and Australia.
  2. Being 100% Italian, I have a very large very stereotypical Italian family back in Connecticut.
  3. As a teenager I gave up playing the clarinet after many years of intense practice.
  4. When I came out of the closet in 7th grade it made local news because my Catholic grammar school threatened to expel me.
  5. Only my right nipple is pierced. Both were pierced at one time until the left ring was ripped out during rough sex.
  6. My favorite dessert is bananas foster.
  7. Former Connecticut governor John Rowland hit on me once in a public men’s room.
  8. My favorite class in high school was biology. My favorite class in college was statistics.
  9. When I lost my virginity I was the top.
  10. I’ve seen the movie the Godfather so many times that I can almost quote all the dialogue.
  11. Fear of addiction is the main reason why I don’t drink alcohol often.
  12. Before I moved to Texas, I was the third member of a triad.
  13. I wish Cyndi Lauper got more credit for her talent. She’s very under-rated.
  14. I own every episode of Everybody Loves Raymond on DVD.
  15. Skiing is one of the things I miss most about living in New England.
  16. Hide and Seek by Imogen Heap is my favorite song of all time.
  17. My middle name is Anthony.
  18. I went to high school with James Van Der Beek
  19. Super shy quiet guys are my favorite
  20. As a child I had to have cosmetic surgery because all of my toes were webbed.

Hopefully now you know a little bit more about me. Upon reflection there is only one other important fact you should know. Everything I said above it total and complete BULLSHIT.

I’m not sure if it’s a new phenomenon or just that I’ve only now started to notice but lately I’ve come to realize that so many people are totally full of shit. Seriously the amount of bullshit people surround themselves with is amazing. Facebook and social media hasn’t helped either. A couple thousand followers can only fan the flames of delusion. Maybe it’s part of living in a big city. People move here from far away places and naturally try to reinvent themselves. Unfortunately most people are bad lairs and the truth always comes out through whispers and gossip. What I can’t understand is why so many people lie about totally insignificant details. I’m not saying lying about income or education is good but it’s a little more understandable than claiming to be best friends with a person who has to be reminded of your first name. Sometimes there will be a small percentage of truth that is over inflated to an Oscar worthy level. Winning a high school track meet become training for the Olympic team. You get the idea.

The real truth about me is that I put a high value honesty and straightforwardness. We all have levels of bullshit in our lives but the point is to be honest about it. Own your shit.

Now for the real truths behind all of the above lies.

  1. I’ve only traveled within North America and Europe
  2. I’m Irish, Polish, and Italian and have a somewhat small family in Connecticut.
  3. I played the clarinet for one year in 4th grade.
  4. I did come out of the closet in 7th grade but only to my parents.
  5. I removed my left nipple ring on purpose because it never healed correctly.
  6. I’ve never tried bananas foster.
  7. Although I did work as a bathroom attendant at John Rowland’s inauguration gala, he was completely polite and non sexual.
  8. My favorite class in high school was American history. My favorite class in college was art history. The only thing I remember about high school biology was my enormous former body builder teacher and my hot crush who sat next to me. I almost failed college statistics.
  9. When I lost my virginity I was the bottom.
  10. I’ve never seen the movie the Godfather.
  11. I generally just don’t like the taste of alcohol.
  12. Although there were many threesomes, I was never in an official triad.
  13. Cyndi Lauper is rated very accurately.
  14. I can’t stand Everybody Loves Raymond but I do own every episode of Sex and the City on DVD.
  15. I hate winter.
  16. My favorite song is Push It by Salt-n-Pepa.
  17. My middle name is Robert.
  18. My cousin went to high school with James Van Der Beek
  19. Super shy quiet guys are a huge turn off.
  20. My second and third toes on my right foot are still webbed together. My father’s foot is the same way.
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