Mr. Naked and The Businessman

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I know I just wrote about how we shouldn’t judge the world too harshly and assume we could do better. But in this case I am 100% certain I could do better so let the hypocritical rant commence!

I found this picture on Twitter and I had to marvel in its ridiculousness. Why the hell is that guy wearing a full suit in a pool? Pool sex is hot. Suit sex is hot. Suit sex in a pool is just awkward and uncomfortable. I mean seriously… come on. You’re trying to tell me that this businessman walked outside and decided to get in the pool even though the naked man was on dry land? Also notice he didn’t just jump in the water in the heat of the moment because his top half is totally dry. Which means he walked in that pool on purpose. If you want to combine suits and pools at least have the two men switch places. It makes the storyline a little more realistic to have the naked guy in the pool when the hot businessman comes home from work. Then you can have the suited guy ass up next to the pool with his pants around his ankles. Isn’t that a little more believable? Better yet, have the naked guy ripe a huge easy access hole in the businessman’s pants to up the sexy factor.

The businessman isn’t the only ridiculous thing in this picture. What kind of awkward pose is Mr. Naked going for? I assume that photographers take hundreds of pictures at a porn shoot so how did this become the winning shot of the day? He looks like he’s in mid rollover which is causing a very weird fat deposit on his upper thigh. Also does he have balls? Is there a neutering fetish out there I don’t know about? If Twitter wants to compete for Tumblr’s porn customers then they’re going to have to seriously up their game.

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