TBRU Detox

tired-bear

I’ve made it a tradition to give you recommendations before the start of every TBRU. This year I decided it was probably a good idea to also help you with the reality that is the Monday after a bear run. 

1. Our value as people has nothing to do with the amount of messages we get on Growlr. 

2. Like every year before you’ll swear off TBRU next year.

3. Every year on Thursday I say “I want to go to the St. Patrick’s Day parade this year.” and every year on Sunday I say “Damn I forgot about the parade.”

4. Sometimes the event isn’t the problem as much as our own attitudes toward it.

5. Reminder for next year: Stop buying unique and niché alcohols for the hotel room. Although Bombay Sapphire is tasty, there’s no reason to for a whole bottle. Stick with plain vodka, rum, and whiskey.

6. Go out to the bars. Staying in the hospitality suite is cheaper but you need a change of scenery so you don’t end up feeling like a shut in.

7. Don’t eat chocolate chip granola bars in bed. When a stray chip melts on pure white sheets it looks like poop.

8. You’ll leave TBRU with many new Facebook friends. By June you will have forgotten and defriended half of them.

9. It feels nice to be sober and eat something other than Jack in the Box.

10. How is the staff of Italia Express so cultishly friendly? Don’t get me wrong I’m not complaining, I’m just curious.

11. When tagging Facebook photos don’t forget to tag the drunk friends in the background. It’s the gift that keeps on giving.

12. Don’t fall victim to the Saturday sads. After 2 or 3 days of hard partying the emotional and physical wear and tear start to set in. Extra rest and a non-bear excursion with friends can help.

13. Depending on your comfort level at work, here are possible answers to give your co-workers when they ask what you did over the weekend: 

  • “I got really drunk (and/or high) and fucked a bunch of hairy guys.”
  • “I was at a fundraiser for local LGBT charities.”
  • “Friends from out-of-town came to visit.” 
  • “I was visiting Davenport Florida.”
  • “Not much.”

14. Next year’s TBRU theme is Mardis Gras. 

15. A bear run husband is a guy you meet early in the weekend and end up spending most of your time with. Be warned because they always end up being crazy come Monday. Always. 

16. The TBRU free tee-shirt makes a good cleaning rag when cut up.

17. The run bag included a very nice high quality card advertising a Kickstarter campaign. Although I understand the reasoning, there’s still something weird about spending money just to ask for money.

18. Going to bear runs is a great way to stock up on free condoms.

19. They say bear runs are bad for relationships. I say bear runs are bad for relationship that already have problems.

20. If you got a premium a Growlr subscription just for the weekend don’t forget to cancel it to avoid automatic re-billing.

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