Save the World Suck A Dick

There is a well known diet book called Eat This Not That. The idea of the book is to give you the top three healthiest and unhealthiest items on the menu’s of many national chain restaurants. I’ve always liked the book because it acknowledges the fact that eating right is difficult and you’re not always going to have the will power to get a garden salad with dressing on the side. So many health and diet guides take an all or nothing approach that makes you feel like a failure anytime you’re not eating $100 bunches organic kale from Whole Foods. ETNT provides you with a real world guide to food that’s better not necessarily the best. For example if you go to Subway stay away from the tuna because it’s one of the unhealthiest things on their menu. They recommend chicken or turkey instead. It’s all about balance.

I wanted to take that same philosophy and apply it toward sex. As gay men, safe sex is preached to us by every health professional we ever see. Most of the time their recommendation centers around condom sex with your monogamous life partner. Like eating healthy, 100% absolute safe sex is hard to maintain 100% of the time. On top of that we live in a world where monogamy is less and less common and multiple partners is almost expected. So how do you stay safe while navigating the gray slutty waters of 2015? I’ll save the ‘use a condom for anal’ speech because you’ve already heard it. No one reading this is going to be like “Wow I didn’t know that getting bred by 7 guys in a row was unsafe!?” But don’t be discouraged because I’m here to give you some real world advice on how to have very hot nasty sex that still plays it safe.
  
1. Suck Dick. Sucking cock is absolutely wonderful. Probably the best thing on earth. It’s also surprisingly safe under normal circumstances. Avoid rigorous flossing and brushing right after as an extra safety measure and you’ll be the most popular guy on the block. Suck hard and suck often. Side note: Doctors always talk about avoiding oral when you have mouth soars or open wounds. Personally I think if you have an open wound or soar you should probably be avoiding sex all together regardless of the health risk.

2. Face Fuck Him. Alright I know this is still technically sucking dick but I felt it deserved it’s own shout out. Like Cyndi Lauper, face fucking is highly underrated. If I have a mouth full of penis I enjoy nothing more that a firm hand on the back of my head. Depending on everyone’s comfort level the tempo can be slow and easy or hard and demanding. For the more experienced and adventurous I highly recommend you try a good session of forceful heavy gag inducing action. Hold his head as you force your meat balls deep down his throat. He’ll gag repeatedly, his eyes will water and he’ll even spit up some major slobber. It’s totally worth it.

3. Cum Facials. Are you a cum whore with a conscious? After you’ve spent some quality time sucking on his stick can get all the hot perverted spunk you want shot all over your face. Get painted like a frat guy at a silly string party. Remember to avoid your eyes and mouth for maximum safety. (“Have you ever had cum in your eye Gabriel?”)
  
4. Watersports. This might only be for the piggiest of pigs but I wanted to include it because it’s also surprisingly safe. If you’re hanky is yellow you can piss all over each other all night long. Like oral sex there is a very low HIV transmission rate in urine.

5. Rimming. Once you’ve given the penis plenty of attention it’s time to worship the booty. Dive in and bury your face deep between his beefy butt cheeks. You’ll have him moaning without the exchange of any bodily fluids. If you’re worried about cleanliness I suggest eating his ass fresh out of the pool. Hell bend him over the edge and lick his hole while you’re still in the water. If a pool party isn’t practical, rimming as a part of shower sex is always fun.

6. Dildos. If you simply can’t cum without ass action, a thick dildo is the perfect way to get your ass fucked without any risk of breaking condoms or the tops who forget to pull out. Dildo tip: get one a little thicker than the average dick size you enjoy. You’ll need the extra inches to make up for the lost magic of the real thing. I also recommend a long double headed dildo to solve the VERY common problem of too many bottoms and not enough tops. You and your best bottom bud can rock out together with one long big boy toy.

7. Leather and S&M. I’m not into the leather and S&M scene however much of it is super safe. Because the focus is more about the control, cum becomes less important. Heavy nipple action, ball tugging, flogging, and being tied up are all some of the safest and kinkiest activities you can find. Chastity devices that actually prevent cumming are also a growing trend from what I hear. Again I’m not a good spokes person for this stuff so find your nearest leather pup and I bet he can give you much more information.

8. Take A Picture. Spice up even the most mundane sex just by reaching for the camera. You’ll be surprised at how some people come out of their shell once they know they’re being recorded. It also works as good porn later on.

It goes without saying that no sex act is 100% safe and while this post is meant to avoid HIV and AIDS there are also many other STIs that can be passed along many different ways. My point however is that being slutty and being safe and responsible are not mutually exclusive. Having a high sex drive is not a curse but rather a gift that keeps on giving.

Buy Eat This Not That here

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2 thoughts on “Save the World Suck A Dick

  1. Good day! This post couldn’t be written any better!
    Reading through this post reminds me of my
    previous room mate! He always kept talking about this.
    I will forward this write-up to him. Pretty
    sure he will have a good read. Many thanks for sharing!

    Like

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