The Facebook Comments I Was Too Polite To Make

Now for a moment of bitchiness. I try and use self control to avoid Facebook fights whenever possible. Here are some of the comments that never saw the light of day:

“It just occurred to me that deep down you might just be a horrible person.”

“We are all so lucky to have someone as perfect as you to point out our mistakes. You are truly doing God’s work. Don’t listen to all those people who will say you are just and insecure loser that has to point out the imperfections in others in order to avoid acknowledging your own problems. They’re just jealous of your greatness.”

“When are you going to get some much needed therapy?”

“I find your inspirational religious themed messages confusing considering the amount of anonymous bath house sex you have.”

“Do you realize that you’re exactly the type of person that you hate?”

“I agree that a Facebook “Happy Birthday” can be impersonal but I can tell you from personal experience the people who complain about such things never do anything else. There is no card, no text message, no in person hug.”

“Why does every new selfie you take look like it was taken with a webcam from 1998?”

“I forgot we were friends because I’ve had you hidden for so long.”

“No I do not want to give money to your Kickstarter. Regardless of the claimed reason, I am certain the money is just going toward your past due rent.”

“I always thought that was stupid. I’m glad you were forced to change.”

“Why are you always so completely miserable every single day? You really seem to hate everything about your life but are unwilling to make any changes”

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