As we all know wanting sex and wanting a relationship are two very different things. When you’re happy and single it can be challenging looking for some quality actions. A fuck buddy or friend with benefits is an ideal but hard to find solution. The problem with either arrangement is that at some point someone is bound to want more than just sex. If the sex is great and you there is a genuine connection, it’s natural to wonder why you’re not dating that person? Romantic feelings are the beginning of the end for any casual sex arrangement.
So how do you walk the fine line between sex and romance? My advise is to realize that your standards for fuck buddies need to be set lower than you’re standards for dating. A fuck buddy has to be someone you would never want to date under any circumstance. A shared fetish can help in the fuck buddy world. For example, you are extremely turned on by big round bubble butts and your fuck buddy is a man with the best ass you’ve ever seen. He’s a train wreck in life but his ass is all you’re concerned with. His general life messiness creates a natural barrier to any romantic feelings and keeps things strictly sexual. The truth about fuck buddies is the best candidates are guys who you are slightly embarrassed by. When you see them out on a Saturday night you give a polite smile and quickly turn to escape before your friends start asking too many questions. The best case scenario is he feels the exact same way about you. He may cringe at your wardrobe but he’ll never say no to your extra long tongue. You both share a strong physical connection and lack any desire to know each other outside of his bedroom.
On the surface it just sounds like you’re being a terrible person but trust me there is a method to the madness. If the guy in question was hot, funny, charming, and well adjusted it would blow up in your face. At some point feelings would get involved. Let’s be honest, if the person really is that great why wouldn’t you want more?
Friends with Benefits
An easy way to differentiate between a fuck buddy and a FWB is if you’d go get food with him after fucking. “Hey are you hungry? I’m craving Whataburger” would be said to a friend with benefits not a fuck buddy. A FWB is the guy who you genuinely enjoy in and out of clothes. There is a real friendship there and sex is just an added bonus. You’ll chat at parties, go see a movie and you’re not embarrassed if your friends find out that you’ve seen each other naked. A quality FWB is one of the hardest things on earth to set up. Seriously. Much like open relationships, not everyone is cut out for it. It’s the finest of fine lines. You must be sexually attracted to him, enjoy his non sexual company, and generally value him as a person BUT none of these feelings can be strong enough to lead to romantic attachment. Many successful FWB are when one or both men are in separate long term relationships. He loves his partner but likes some extra excitement on the side or maybe the partner travels a lot and he has a very high sex drive. For FWB to work, both men must be very secure and comfortable with the separation of sex and emotion. If you’re the type of person who could never imagine blowing your best buddy, then friends with benefits isn’t for you.
Sadly, even in the best case scenarios fuck buddies and friends with benefits have a natural expiration date. You only have control over your emotions. The fuck buddy can have a change of heart at any point and realize he wants love. Your FWB might surprise you and find a monogamous boyfriend. Life often gets in the way of the delicate balancing act. If you’re lucky enough to have a regular fuck buddy or FWB enjoy it to the fullest. If you haven’t found that not-so-perfect perfect person yet be comforted to know that you just might not want causal sex. Sex with emotions and strings attached can be worth waiting for.