TBRU is fun but it can also be overwhelming. Here are some insider tips to help you make the most of your weekend:
1. #Giveback- If you’re new to TBRU a great way to meet people is by picking up a couple volunteer shifts. You get to help out and chat up the fellow volunteers and run goers all at the same time. This is also a great way to meet new people if your sick of seeing only the same faces.
2. #OraQuick- Know your status. It’s a wonderful weekend filled with (the possibility of) sex with guys you’ve just met. Protect them and yourself.
3. #Disconap- You won’t want to miss a second of the action but taking a short nap will save you in the long run. Your body needs time to rest. You don’t want to pull a muscle and get lock jaw on the second day do you?
4. #Drunkandhungry- When you’re on Cedar Springs and you’re hungry for a slice remember one simple rule: Zini’s NO. Italia Express YES.
5. #Goodiewithahoodie- Dallas in March is tough weather to pack for. Most likely it’ll be near 70 but it could get up in the 80s or down in the 40s. Most bears live in shorts in any weather above 55 degrees, but trust me when I tell you to bring a hoodie and a pair of jeans.
6. #Lessismore Take an inventory of your bathing suit wardrobe. This is one of the few instances where you can break out the super tight and skimpy square cuts that are obscene in straight society. As a reminder: before you buy those blue Old Navy trunks with the white stripe down the side remember that you’ll see at least 10 other bears in the same ones.
7. #Patientsisavirtue- When you walk in a bar don’t automatically go to the first bar you see. The front bar will always have the longest lines. Keep walking toward the back or upstairs (when available) to bars that most people miss. This is especially important if you are opening up a tab. You may have to walk farther but trust me it will be a lot quicker.
A quick guide:
S4– 6 bars total. 4 down and 2 up. The bars to the left and right as you walk in are always insanely busy. The Rose Room upstairs is your best bet. You’ll also find extra bathrooms there.
TMC– 3 total. Two inside and one out on the back patio. The patio bar gets the least traffic.
JR’s– 3 Total. 2 down. 1 up. The upstairs bar has a great balcony to overlooks Cedar Springs.
Woody’s– 2 Bars, one on each level. Go upstairs for shorter lines.
The Round Up– 5 total. Walk around to check but the bar along the back wall is generally the least busy.
The Eagle– The back bar is often overlooked. Tip: it can also be accessed from outside on the patio.
Crowne Plaza Hospitality suite: Two bars along the back walls on either side. There is also usually a table toward the front door serving punch sponsored by a local bear group.
8. #Badgeofhonor- Friday night’s BearDance at S4 is always my favorite event of the whole weekend. This year it’ll be a glow party filled with black lights and glow sticks. Tip: Be sure to wear a freshly laundered shirt if you don’t want everyone to see the evidence of the Lewinsky you pulled that afternoon.
9. #Truestory- There will be plenty of hot gogo bear dancers at BearDance. Make sure to tip them well because all the tips go to charity. #seriously
10. #Throatcoat- Don’t get sick. Start taking Airborne now to prevent any colds before vacation and to build up your immunity once you are here. Also if you are prone to allergies bring extra doses of medication. I’ve seen a lot of friends sidelines simply from sinuses. You don’t want your drink of the weekend to be Robitussin.
11. #Ishouldbedrinkingrightnow- TBRU offers a lot of extra trips and mini events throughout the weekend. Some are great and some are dreadful:
-The “Spa” trip to Club Dallas (aka the bathhouse) can be fun if is extra hot and the pool outside is open. Apart from swimming naked the action is hit or miss. It’s not a definite skip but don’t feel bad if you miss it.
-The Mr. TBRU contest can be fun for about 15 minutes. Unfortunately it takes hours. Seriously. Stop in an check it out but I wouldn’t plan on staying for the whole thing.
-The excursions to aquariums, breweries, and such can be a lot of fun if you’re interested in it and you’re feeling touristy. Judge those on a case by case basis.
12. #Sardines- The Hidden Door on Sunday is fun but gets so packed it borders on annoying. Beware if you don’t like large crowds. Come to think of it, if you don’t like large crowds you’d probably avoid the whole weekend.