My (Personal) Year in Review

2013 was a good year filled with memories I will cherish for a lifetime. Rather than bore you with the details, I thought you might enjoy a look back at the pictures. The 8 enlarged pictures represent the most memorable moments. 

I should also give a shout out to the people I’ve befriended that I unfortunately do not have pictures of: Mark & Ami, Mike & Howard, Nick R, Andy S, Rob R, Dustin, Stephan, and Jay.

 

My absolute Favorite photo of 2013

Pop Culture Year in Review

Person of the Year: Miley Cyrus. Love her or hate her Miley dominated the headlines this year. It all started with her performance of We Can’t Stop and Blurred Lines at the VMA’s. It was a polarizing performance that left many parents turned off and many kids eager for more. Good or bad she managed to steel focus from everyone else on a night when Lady Gaga and Katy Perry were also performing. She was able to change the conversation when it would’ve been easy to be overshadowed be music’s biggest names. On a side note, I laughed when everyone was so shocked at her VMA performance. Didn’t they see the video for We Can’t Stop? Didn’t they know she’s singing about drugs? What did they expect her to do? She followed that up with her second single Wrecking Ball which showed off more of her vocal ability. No other entertainer came close, this was clearly Miley’s year. #TeamMiley

Game Changer: Beyoncé. Beyoncé managed to pull off the best surprise in music history. She cemented her status as Queen B when, without notice, she stunned the world and released a full album in mid December. Despite a busy touring schedule for most of 2013, she somehow found the time to record songs and shoot 17 music videos. 17! Teddy Riley for CNN said it best, “The game just changed, and Beyoncé changed it.” Not only did the stunt cause a sudden burst of buzz across every corner of the internet, it also caused a burst in sales. She sold a reported 828,773 albums in just the first three days shattering every previously held record. It should also be mentioned that all 828,773 albums sold were downloaded exclusively on iTunes. Physical albums have yet to be release in stores. As a comparison, her last album 4 sold only 310,000 copies in it’s first full week. This new album did almost 3 times that in just three days. While Miley had everyone talking in 2013, Beyoncé is the artist who permanently changed the way music is sold. Way to go Queen B!

Musician of The Year: Macklemore and Ryan Lewis. In the past I have had separate categories for Song of the Year, Album of the Year etc. This year though I changed it up and lumped all of those categories into one Musician of the Year category. Macklemore and Ryan Lewis are by far my favorite new addition to the music scene. I have liked every song they have put out so far. Can’t Hold Us is my standout favorite but honorable mention goes to the touching Same Love. There’s one small problem… as it turns out my favorite song of the year, Can’t Hold Us was originally released in 2011 and their album The Heist was released in 2012. Can’t Hold Us was re-released in 2013 after Thrift Shop exploded and put them on the map. Even though their music is not all from 2013, this was definitely the year that Macklemore and Ryan Lewis proved their tremendous talent.

Obsession Award: Young and Beautiful by Lana Del Rey. Throughout the year I get obsessed with certain songs and end up listening to them on repeat over and over. Young and Beautiful from the Great Gatsby soundtrack was one of those songs. I had been only slightly familiar with Del Rey before but had never listened to any of her music. However her raspy voice and the haunting lyrics got to me. Runner up for this award includes We Can’t Stop by MC and Perfume by Britney Spears.

The Tracy Chapman Song of the Year Award: Royals by Lorde. Royals is a truly great song. However it was released for sale in March and she has yet to have follow up success. The term ‘one hit wonder’ usually conjures up the thought of a no talent band that got lucky that one time. (Look up Los Del Rios and the Macarena as an example) Lorde appears to have real talent but Royals maybe to big to come back from. That’s why I named this award the Tracy Chapman song of the year award. Chapman is a good example of a talented artist who had one earth shattering success (Fast Car) but never really went any farther. She had other songs but none compared until many many years later when she released One Reason. Although I hope I’m wrong, I suspect Lorde will unfortunately follow in the same foot steps. (The band Arrested Development is another good example of this phenomena) Many in 10 years she’ll release another hit too.

Douche Bag Award: Robin Thicke. There was no contest for this one. When controversy over his performance with Miley Cyrus hit the fan Thick threw Miley under the bus as quickly as possible. He claimed he didn’t see her twerking because he was too busy singing and to use his words “that’s on her.” Seriously?  Robin Thicke, you’re an asshole. (To see a clip from the interview and story visit Buzzfeed)

Social Media Breakdown: Amanda Bynes. She was arrested, she was obsessed with calling Drake ugly on Twitter, she had an overall meltdown on social media. In recent weeks it sounds like she has been getting help. Amanda get cleaned up and give the messy headlines back to Lindsay.

The Cop Out Award: Jodie Foster at Golden Globes. You might have already forgotten Jodie Foster’s lame speech at the Golden Globes back in January. The point of the whole speech was basically that she refuses to come out of the closet publicly. What a cop out. I lose all respect for gay celebrities who refuse to come out. What also struck me as strange is that if you do not want to come out why are you giving a whole speech about not coming out? It’s strange when you think about it. Why not just ignore the topic and just discuss your career? You’ve also got to give Foster some side eye for the friends she brought for her big night. Cheering her on were Robert Downie Jr. and Mel Gibson. RDJ has a well documented crazy past despite his career upswing at the moment. Then there’s Mel Gibson… MEL GIBSON?! He’s like the current reigning king of crazy. I have to deduce that Jodie must be legit cray cray.
 

Buzz Worthy Scandal: Paula Dean. Paula had a hard year. She was fired from many of her jobs over racism claims. There was even a law suite from one of her former employees. Many people came to her defense saying she shouldn’t be ruined by a one time mistake. However many people failed to realize there had been gossip and stories of questionable language and choices for years. It seems the dust has settled and her core fans still love her while the rest of the world is still giving her some side eye.

Most Improved: The Catholic Church. Pope Francis has been a breathe of badly needed fresh air for Catholics. After decades of blame and exclusionary focused ministry the church elected a pope that wants to instead talk about love and acceptance. He’s a down to earth man who is not shy about controversial issues. He famously welcomed gays back to the church by asking “Who am I to judge?” Hopefully he will live a long and successful life and unit Christians around the world with his positive message. On a side note: Pope Francis was chosen as the new head of the Catholic church because his predecessor Pope Benedict chose to step down. The last time a pope resigned was in 1415. That’s no joke… in 600 years, a pope has never resigned. There was never really a believable reason given for the sudden departure. I’m dying to know the secret details of what went on behind the scenes. You know that must be a juicy story! Juicier than Tom and Katie’s divorce.

Best Movie Cameo(s): Michael Cera and Channing Tatum both in This is the End. If you missed This is the End it’s really worth checking out. It really was a very funny movie. The basic plot is a bunch of Hollywood stars gather for a party during the end of the world. I won’t spoil any of the cameos but both Cera’s and Tatum’s small roles are hysterical.

Biggest Disappointment: Don Jon. Joseph Gorden-Levitt’s debut as a writer director looked like it had real promise from the previews. However the story was disjointed and rushed. I’ll give him a pass because it’s his first time but it really wasn’t a good movie. Wait to see it once it’s on tv for free.

Must See Movie (in the theater): Gravity. It’s a guaranteed nominee for Best Picture at the Oscars. It was simply breathtaking and amazing. Like many, I was worried that Sandra Bullock couldn’t carry an entire movie by herself. Don’t let that stop you. She can and she does an outstanding job. If you can catch it in theaters, make it a priority to go see it. Trust me.

Must See Movies (at home): Blue Jasmine. Cate Blachett plays an emotionally and mentally unstable women going through a divorce. I won’t spoil the movie but it really is worth seeing. Look for support roles by Andrew Dice Clay and Bobby Cannavale. This is Blanchett at her best and she is my pick to win the Oscar for Best Actress.

Most Overrated: Jennifer Lawrence. I know everyone is going to freak out because they love Jennifer Lawrence. I don’t hate her, I’m just sick of her. She won the Oscar for her role in a Silver Linings Playbook. It was a good performance but not Oscar worthy. My dream situation would be for her to take a year or two off to avoid over exposure. So Jennifer, if you’re reading this… Go home and chill out till your hair grows back.

Funny Lady: Melissa McCarthy. This funny lady had two big hits this year with The Heat and Identity Thief. That’s rare for a comedian and even more rare for a female comedian. It’s almost unheard of for a plus size female comedian. Hopefully this shows Hollywood that people outside the mold can draw a crowd. Keep it up MM!

Better than Expected: We’re the Millers. Jennifer Aniston has not had the greatest movie track record. For many years she stuck to boring romantic comedy roles that were ignored by audiences. Then she had a supporting role in last year’s Horrible Bosses where she played against type as super slutty dentist. She followed up that hit with this year’s We’re the Millers. It was a box office hit and it was genuinely really funny. I give it a strong recommendation and don’t let Aniston’s previous bombs scare you away. This one is worth seeing.

Best Award Show Hosts: Tina Fey and Amy Poehlr- The Golden Globes. Finding a good host is hard. Over the years there’s been a revolving door of comedians and actors that have given it a try. Billy Crystal and Neil Patrick Harris have done it well. Ricky Gervais and James Franco were epically bad. However in January 2013 we discovered the best hosting duo that has ever existed. As the headlines read the day after the Golden Globes, “Amy Poehler and Tina Fey should host every awards show.” They were funny without being mean, witty without being boring. The super due will return to the Golden Globes again in January 2014 to continue their reign as the Queens of comedy.

Well Done Award: Netflix- Orange is the New Black. Netlfix was struggling to maintain customers as more and more Redbox video rentals stands popped up. They decided to follow the lead of premium cable channels and create their own content.  Orange is the New Black has been the most buzzed about show of the season. They created a well written show with a predominantly female cast. There is even a trans character. They’re breaking rules all over the place to the delight of fans. Well done. Not to be out shined, their other original series House of Cards has also been a huge success and brought critical acclaim.

Unsung Hero: Kerry Washington. Scandal has been a huge success for ABC. The captivating hour long drama follows Oliva Pope as she navigates Washington and the White House. It’s easy to write this off as just a good show featuring a pretty actress. You might not realize how ground breaking Kerry Washington is for black actresses everywhere. Scandal is only the second time in history where a network drama has been lead by a black woman. The first time was back in 1968 when Diane Carroll was cast in the title role as Julia. It’s hard to believe that in the last 45 years there have only been two dramas staring a black woman on network tv. The one good thing about Kerry Washington is that no one has labeled her a black actress or Scandal a black show. It’s successful based on it’s own merit. That’s the greatest win any minority can hope for.

Addictive TV Show: Breaking Bad. Ok, I’ll admit it… I’ve never watched Breaking Bad. (Hangs my head in shame) However, without question it was the one show that everyone I know was addicted to. Even my dad got caught up in it. Much of the show’s success came from Netflix and Hulu where fans were able to catch up with past seasons. By the time the series finally came, the public was on the edge of it’s seat anxiously waiting.

Guilty Pleasure: RuPaul’s Drag Race. If you don’t watch it, you’re missing out. Another must see is Rupaul’s Drag Race Untucked where they show the behind the scenes drama in the Interior Illusions Lounge. It’s easily the most fun show on television. Shante’ You Stay.

Feel Good Viral Story: Batkid. I can go on and on about the Batkid story but it’s easier if you just read the article on Buzzfeed. I’m not ashamed to admit I cried.

Can’t Miss DVR Favorite: Tie- The Wendy Williams Show and E! Fashion Police. These two shows are my ultimate favorite shows that I won’t miss. I’ve also discovered that I get 75% of my entertainment news comes from Wendy. Ask my boyfriend, at least once a day I say “According to Wendy Williams…” She’s a big bold brassy broad and I’ve loved her ever since her radio days. E! Fashion Police is lead by my favorite icon Joan Rivers. Even at 80 she’s as funny and ruthless as ever. Both are fun wonderful shows. #Favorite

Instagram Photo of the Year: 


Without question Bearpire had the best picture on Instagram this year. It’s fun and whimsical with a sexy belly thrown in for good measure. It’s one of those pictures that’s simple and perfect. I’m also impressed at the pure height of the jump. Well done. What’s even better is that it started an ongoing series. Follow Bearpire on Instagram to see this and more pictures of him and his adorable boyfriend. #Favorite

For A Good Time Follow: wooferSTL


Woofer never disappoints. He’s a traveling executive bear with a naughty side. You’ll get plenty suit and tie pics as well as skimpy speedo shots. Sometimes his pictures from out in public are so elaborate I would love to be a fly on the wall to see how he gets the shot. Also keep an eye out for his adorable pugs Fred and Ethyl. I’ve also met him in person and he doesn’t disappoint. #Woof

International heartthrob: Woofioso

As you can see, Woofioso is sexy. His pics never fail to turn me on. He’s serving you awesome hair, beard, face, belly and suspender hotness. His pictures are a mixture of talented photography and sexy bearish fun. If I ever get to Spain hopefully I can catch up with him and his partner. Of course when I say catch up, I mean get naked. In addition, those are literally the best suspenders I’ve ever seen.

Side Note: He was previously featured here in one of my favorite photo’s ever.

App of the Year: Vine. Vine is the son of Twitter. You create short 6 second videos in an Instgram like setting. There are a lot of extremely creative and funny people on Vine. I recommend you start following Russell Neill first and go from there. He’s both hilarious and adorable. Also check out Cole Maverick of Maverickmen.com if you want Vines with some more x-rated content.


Questions That Were Left Unanswered:
Is Bruce Jenner really transitioning into becoming a women?
Edward Snowden… Treason or celebrated whistle blower?

SNL: A White Man’s Game

A picture from auditions

Back in 1975 when Saturday Night Live started it was a revolutionary program that changed American comedy. The show has a long legacy that will always live in television history. Their comedy skits are part of American culture. Actually, let me rephrase that. Their skits are part of white American culture. Saturday Night Live’s lack of diversity is as legendary as it’s Weekend Update segment. Their most notable diversity success has been the rise of women in the past decade thanks to Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, and Molly Shannon amongst others. It’s sad that women represent diversity. Saying “We’re diverse because we have women” is just like saying “I’m not racist, I have black friends.” As Tina Fey said, “Only in comedy does an obedient white girl from the suburbs count as diversity.” (Bossypants, 2011) Beyond females, SNL’s diversity record gets very beige very quickly. Granted, there has been a consistent string of black male performers but they always feel more like a token character.  

Although this has gone on for decades, it seems the public has finally started to notice. News has come out recently that Saturday Night Live is doing secret casting sessions for a black female comedian. When the new cast members were announced for this season, there was an obvious lack of minorities of every kind. All of the new hires were the whitest of white boys. The show came under fire for not having any women of color on their cast and Lorne Michaels and the execs at NBC are now under a lot of pressure to make an Affirmative Action hire. Reportedly the new cast member(s) may join the show as early as January.

This is a great example to show why Affirmative Action is sometimes needed. I don’t think the producers of SNL are consciously trying to keep their staff the Aryan brotherhood it has become. There have been many quotes from Michaels and other producers saying the only thing they look for is if you’re funny.  While that idea has good intentions, there is also deeply embedded problems. The people making the hiring decisions are themselves white and their sense of humor tends to stay within a very specific mold. So when a black, Hispanic, or Asian comedian auditions, are they not hired because they aren’t funny or are they not hired because the white executives think they aren’t funny? If given the chance could they make the diverse public laugh just as hard as anyone else? It’s almost as if they don’t know there is another point of view or opinion. They don’t know what they don’t know. SNL is oblivious to it’s natural bias toward a very specific mold of comedian. Tina Fey shares a real life example of this in her book Bossypant’s when she talks about her struggle to get female voices heard in the male dominated atmosphere:

“The very funny Paula Pell had written a script called Kotex Classic. It featured women in the cast enjoying fun modern gal activities while giant sanitary napkins poked of their low rise jeans. I kept bringing it up in meetings only to be told that it would be too difficult to produce. Paula and I weren’t sure what that meant. Steve Higgins finally sat us down and asked us to explain. ‘How would we see it? Would the girls have their pants off? Would we see blood?’ And that is what Oprah would call an Aha Moment for me. They didn’t know what a maxi pad belt was. It was the moment I realized there was no institutionalized sexism at that place. Sometimes they just literally didn’t know what we were talking about.” 

I’m glad to hear Saturday Night Live is trying to make an effort to become more inclusive even though it is just a token gesture. Do I think this is a signal of real long term change for the not ready for prime time players? No. But like all long fights, the steps are small but meaningful.

8 Things Gay Guys Are Too Nice to Tell Straight Girls

The gay man and straight girl bond is one that has existed for centuries. However as gay men we need to be honest and give you a dose of some hard truths. Listen up ladies… 

1. Knowing one doesn’t equal knowing us all. Having a gay friend is a gift but it doesn’t mean that you are now universally excepted by all gay men, You tend to feel a bit too familiar around gay stranger assuming you have some sort of free pass from your friend back home. Knowing one gay man doesn’t mean you’re instantly best friends with every other gay man in the world. The phrase “My best friend is gay” doesn’t give you the instant access to our parties, alcohol or fashion advice.

2. We loath Bachelorette Parties. I have to be honest, bachelorette parties are literally one of the worst things on earth. There is nothing more god awful than a roving pack on drunk women wearing light up tiaras and drinking from penis straws. I support your right to go out and have a night of debauchery as long as you stay out of our bars. In fact, a great bachelorette idea is partying at home! Save us all the headache. More importantly, as brides-to-be you’re shoving your marriage in our faces when it’s still illegal for gay couples to marry in the majority of US states. That’s really a shitty thing to do when you think about it.

3. Don’t try and set us up. Every straight girl thinks she can be a match maker for all her gay friends. Don’t assume two men you know will hit it off simply because they’re both homos. I know in your mind it’s am easy equation: Gay + Gay = Instant Couple. However you are clueless to the details of lifestyle and type. There’s a lot more that goes into it than just having a penis. You might be totally oblivious to his dominant daddy fetish or his weakness for chubby nerds.

4.You’ll never suck dick as well as we do. We can try and teach you our technique but that’s only half of the equation. Most of the reason why we’re so much better at it is because we love doing it. Straight girls suck dick because they have to. Gay men suck dick because they want to. Want isn’t even the best word. Love to, hope to, need to, live to suck dick. There’s nothing better in life.

5. Not all gay men are glad to see you. Some gay men love to be around as many women as possible. This is usually during the early stages of their coming out processing as you provide a safe non threatening environment. Either that or they live in a small town where the luxury of other gay men is absent. For the rest of us, we are very content to have little to no social exposure to straight women. A lot of times we just want to party with other guys. So when you tag along as the only women at a gay party you should realize that the gay friend who brought you has just been mentally removed from all future invite lists.

6. Drag queen only pretend to like you. This goes in conjunction with the bachelorette theme. Ladies you should know that drag queens can’t stand you either but they pretend because they want your tips. You’re just a drunk ATM in their eyes.

7. Gay men can treat you worse than straight men. Women flock to gay hang outs as an escape from the pressure of straight men. Gay men provide a false sense of safety though. Granted you might be left alone because we won’t hit on you. However the price you pay is probably the harshest criticism of your life. You see, straight men want sex from you which puts you at an instant advantage. At their core, straight men aren’t very picky. Tits and ass are great but as nice girl that says yes is hard to find so they won’t push their limits. Because gay men don’t need sex from you it allows us to be crueler than you ever thought possible. So as you dance with your gal pals on the dance floor with your gin and diets, you should know that you are being judged for every detail possible. Yes we notice that you’re trying (unsuccessfully) to pass off a Forever 21 clearance rack bargain as a designer dress. And yes we also notice the blood stain you thought you washed out last week.

8. When we hit on your straight husband we’re not joking. Simply stated, if your husband gave us the opportunity… we’d take it. No questions asked.

Break the Auto-Correct Addiction

Today is the 1 month anniversary since I broke my addiction. It was taking over my life and hurting my family and friends. On November 8, 2013, after much thought and reflection, I made the brave decision to turn off auto-correct on my phone! (Gasp!) I’ll give you a moment to let the gravity of that sink in…

As you already know I’m a notoriously bad speller. Legendarily bad in fact. I would always assume auto-correct would always save me. In truth it took over my digital life and I relied on it too heavily to fix my mistakes. Much like the elderly and cockfighting or Floridians and acid wash denim, I became dependent. I’ll be honest and admit I rarely read my message back before hitting send. Many times auto-correct fixes items by changing the word into something completely unintended. You always see the stories about outrageous mistake like a daughter texting her mom “I want to eat your pussy” instead of “I want to eat your pumpkin pie.” My mistakes are never that overt. Many of my corrections were much harder to spot. Do vs don’t, your vs you’re, and there vs their were all switched interchangeably. I still don’t understand why food always turned into good? The result were disastrous. After I answering the question “Do you want me to bring my dildos?” and auto correct changed my answer from ‘Do it!’ to ‘Don’t’ I new it was a problem that needed fixing. I would not stand for this anymore.

Turning off auto-correct has forced me to slow down and pay attention to what I type. Spelling mistakes are still noted with a red line so I am helped but not babied. It really has made a noticeable difference. (OMG it takes so much longer…) Yes, sometime I get easily annoyed at how much longer typing takes but it’s worth the effort. I am happy to report that I am typing clearly and my friends can understand everything I say. No longer will my ass go unsatisfied by a sex toy miscommunication. The horror!