You Think You’re Hot Sh*t

Gluttony, Sloth, Lust, Greed, Wrath, Envy, and Pride. Better know as the seven deadly sins.

My mother is sensitive toward anyone or anything that makes women look bad. She’s convinced Martha Stewart was imprisoned and treated unfairly purely because of her sex. (I agree) She also thought Paula Dean got a bad wrap during the whole racism controversy just because she’s a woman. (I disagree)

With that said you might not be surprised to hear that my mother also hates Madonna. So much so that ever since I can remember she only refers to her as ‘The Pig Woman.’ (Okay, she sometimes uses the nickname Slut Face too) Her distaste stems from a strong feminist conviction that Madonna makes women look bad. She’s a slut, she’s a pig, etc etc. You get the idea. Obviously I don’t agree. In fact Madge is one of, if not my all time favorite celebrities. However I can see her point. Madonna pushed sexual boundaries for many years and that’s not my mother’s cup of tea. We agree to disagree on the subject but I respect her point of view.

Madonna isn’t the only star my mother condemns. There is one other woman who gets her blood boiling just as much. Is it Kim K? Rihanna? Lady Gaga? Lindsay Lohan? All good guesses but no. My mother can’t stand Oprah. I’ve been a hardcore Oprah fan for many years. You would think Oprah is everything that my mother values. A strong self-made women who created an enormous empire based on positive ideals, charity, and female empowerment. She knocked over racial barriers and broke the stereotypical mold for female celebrities with her weight fluctuations. Isn’t she the feminist ideal?  

My mother hates Oprah for one reason and one reason only. Pride. In the words of Kathy Griffin “Oprah thinks she’s Jesus.” It’s true, Oprah thinks she’s hot shit. But if there was ever someone who could back up her self esteem… it Oprah! My mother turns her nose up though. Remember when Oprah gave her entire audience a car? “You get a car! You get a car!” It put my mother over the edge. All she would talk about was how Oprah didn’t pay for the cars. It was really Pontiac who did the good deed and Oprah took all the credit. In my mother’s mind, Winfrey’s pride cancels out every other good deed she has done.

Although this is an extreme example, I’ve noticed the same sentiment rings true for most people. Drug addicts, cheaters, and abusive husbands can all have a second chance however pride is the kiss of death. I’ll give you an example, how many times have you ever said or heard “God I can’t stand him. All he does is post Instagram selfies all day. I could never be friends with someone like that.” Or even better “The worst thing about him is that he knows he’s hot.” Remember that One Direction song What Makes You Beautiful? The answer to the song’s title question is you’re beautiful because you don’t know you’re beautiful. Basically they are saying they love you because you have low self esteem. That’s extremely fucked up when you think about it. There’s an unspoken truth that if you’re great in any way, you need to be quiet and humble about it and when someone points out your gifts you should deny it and act embarrassed regardless of your true feelings.

Personally I’ve always been attracted to a guy with a cocky attitude. Whenever I hear someone complain about excessive selfies I usually disagree. I guess never really understood why pride is so universally accepted as the worst of all the seven deadly sins.

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