Buzzfeed.com recently had an hilarious article 20 Signs You’re at a Gay Pool Party. It was funny but aimed more at the gyms rat and twink crowd. What about the bears? Bear pool parties are similar but with a few key differences.
1. You’ve never seen the official invite, everyone ‘just knows’
2.The food will consist of hot dogs, hamburgers, mac&cheese, sides dishes, chips, and cookies.
3. Alcohol will consist of: Beer, vodka, coke/diet coke, cranberry juice, and flavored vodka no one knows what to do with.
4. Its a great place to find pot
5. There’s a designated spot along the house/fence where you should piss
6. At some point there will be minor argument over who’s iPhone should be the DJ
7. A cute bathing suit isn’t important because its going to come off anyway.
8. Someones having sex upstairs
9. Someones getting jerked off underwater
10. There’s never enough noodles
11.You’ve been introduced to the host couple but you’re not sure which is which because they’re always introduced as ‘Todd and Rick.’
12. There will be a Twerk-Off. Someone will win, some one will cry.
13. That guy you hate will be there and you’ll have to fake a smile all day
14. Someone will want you to take an action shot of him jumping into the pool. Afterward he’ll realize his phone was in his pocket and is now ruined.
15. There’s never enough ice or sunscreen
16. 5 other bears will be wearing the same Old Navy bathing suit as you. You know the navy blue one with a white stripe down the side…
17. You’ll leave shoes, sunglasses, underwear or some other accessory behind.
18. Two words: Jello shots
19. The street will be to narrow and the parking will suck.
20. Watch out because someone might shit in the garage.
P.S. I LOVE Buzzfeed! Check them out in case you’ve been living under a rock and haven’t yet.
Thank you to Andy, Gates, and Steve for the photos. If you ever need head at a pool party, let me know 🙂