Of Vice and Men.

There’s one question I get asked quit often, “So what’s your vice?”

Let me give you some background to help you understand. When I go to a bar or house party someone inevitably notices that I’m not drinking alcohol. I guess my Aquafina bottle stands out in a crowd. I then explain that I don’t drink that often because I generally don’t like the taste of alcohol. (Beer and wine are the most disgusting of all boozy beverages) I add in that it works out well because I can be the designated driver for my friends. Satisfied with my reasoning the curious friend moves on with the conversation. Then someone offers weed to the crowd and when I politely pass all eyes are once again on me. “So wait… you don’t drink, you don’t smoke, What’s your vice?”

Yes its true. I’m not a big drinker. On occasion, for example my 30th Birthday, I’ll party and do shots like a champ but for the most part I prefer water or soda. Alcohol just doesn’t taste that good to me. Weed (aka pot aka marijuana,whatever the kids are calling it these days) doesn’t have much appeal to me either. Most of the reason I don’t smoke weed is the actual smoking. Smoke, regardless of the source, is a turn off. You can correctly assume that I’m anti all the harder drugs beyond weed. Although I don’t partake in these party favors, I don’t hold it against anyone who does. Like vaginal sex, its not my thing but if you want to do it I won’t stop you.

Alcohol, especially beer, has become so common in our society that people can’t understand how I can live without it. Then again, I guess its the same as how I look at people when they tell me they don’t own a television. So I don’t drink and I don’t do drugs. What do I do? I spend money. I spend the most money on traveling. Whether its a bear event in Missouri or a trip home to visit family. I spend a lot of cash on airline tickets. A close second is shopping for clothes and home decor. I’ve been able to contain my shopping tendencies in order to have more money for my travel budget.

So the next time we’re in the pool together and you offer me a beer or bong hit, don’t be offended if I decline. You can be sure that I bought my bathing suit new just for the occasion. A bathing suit that easily comes off even when sober.

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