You’re exited, you’re ready, you’re balls are about to bust with anticipation. TBRU is only a few days away. As much as you’ve planned and prepared there is still one more detail problem to cross of your list. How do you explain TBRU to straight people? The inevitable question “Where are you going this weekend?” may arise from your boss, parents, neighbors, brothers, sisters, etc. I’m all for honesty but certain people can only handle a certain level of honesty and then there are those you just have to lie to. The way you explain TBRU to your fag hag best girl friend is probably going to be different then what you say to your boss at work. Not to worry though. The Gay Gasp is here to help. I’ve provided you with a list of excuses and lies to tell your coworkers and loved ones:
You’re going to a charity event (this one’s actually true)
You’re visiting an old friend who moved to Dallas. If you live local, tell them friends are visiting form out of town.
It’s Dallas’ annual Gay Pride festival/Parade
You’re going to a yearly Comic book convention (or whatever hobby you’re into)
Vacation to New Orleans
A meditation retreat.
You’re a huge JFK history buff and you want to visit Dealey Plaza.
A distant cousin’s wedding
A distant aunt’s funeral (for a last minute excuse)
You’re a recovering alcoholic and trying to find the least Irish place to spend St. Patrick’s day.
Something to think about: If this is your first year at TBRU, trust me when I tell you that you’re going to have a good time and you’re going to want to come back. Therefore think of a lie that can be used for up coming years. For example using the annual convention or Dallas pride stories will allow you to come back next year without having to think of a new story because you can only have so many dead aunts or engaged cousins. Plan ahead!