I can admit when I’m wrong and I owe Justin Timberlake a bit of an apology. In my post “An Open Letter to Justin Timberlake” I was pretty hard on JT for his lack luster 3rd solo album. I still maintain that the 20/20 Experience as a whole is total rubbish, however I need at amend my stance on the song ‘Mirrors’. It isn’t as awful as I first thought. After several listens it has grown on me. I still hate that its 8 minutes long and if it were cut down to 4 minutes I’d even go so far as to say I like it. The nice melody and the lyrics helped to win me over although the real battle was won when Mirrors gained a very important fan in my boyfriend. His enthusiasm is infectious.
While we’re on the subject of lyrics, I’ve had a change of heart with regard to another common practice. For a long time I’ve maintained a strong stance against the practice of typing out song lyrics to express your emotions. Now that I’m in a relationship with a wonderful guy my strict stance has softened a bit. I’ve decided to give my stamp of approval if the song lyrics are used to express joy and love. In fact the practice can be quite romantic. Remember then ending of the first Sex and the City movie when Carrie finds all of Big’s re-typed love letter?! It was romantic despite not being his own words. If you haven’t connected the dots yet, yes Russell typed out the lyrics to Mirrors for me and I loved it. (Two birds,one stone) What I realized is that up until now I associated typed song lyrics with anger and dramatic FB posts. Can’t you just see the lyrics of an Evanescence song typed to mark a lovers betrayal? Gag. That’s still awful and I still don’t approve. So to summarize: positive song lyrics for love- thumbs up. Negative lyrics for heart ache- thumbs down. I never said this was a cheerocracy. I can change my rules and opinions
any time I want.
Greetings from Naples Florida. I apologize for posting so little for that last two week but back to back vacations have sucked up all my time. To catch you up to speed, this is what’s been on my mind:
How does Solange Knowles pay her rent? I know she claims to be a ‘singer’ but that’s laughable at best. With no legitimate career she has plenty of time to shows up at every event and grace the pages of every magazine. Obviously big sis Beyonce pays the bills but I just wonder what the arrangements are? Does she give her baby sister an allowance or does Solange have to hit her up every time she’s low on cash. “Hey B, can you spot me some Benjamins?” The same applies for Tito Jackson and his brothers. How is the Jackson fortune divided? And I won’t even get started on Lindsay Lohan’s bank account.
The current most expensive home for sale in the United States is in Dallas Texas.
My current song obsession is Macklemore’s ‘Can’t Hold Us’ which pushes Calvin Harris’ ‘Sweet Nothing’ to number two.
When I talk to a lot of people from Connecticut (including my parents) they all tell me that moving to Texas was the best thing I ever did. I don’t disagree but I’m surprised it’s so obvious to everyone else.
90% of the population in Naples is above the age of 70. Rich old people who drive their Mercedes badly. Also in case you were wondering, said old people are not hot sexy daddy bears. These are the elderly white people who can’t hear and get annoyed easily. I wonder where are all daddy bears? They probably retire to Palm Springs or Fort Lauderdale.
Yesterday at the beach I got a really bad sunburn. Ouch!
I adore Wendy Williams and love her talk show!
Janet Jackson has been secretly married to a her Qatari Billionaire boyfriend for a year. She’s a sneaky snake.
Tilda Swinton is currently sleeping in a glass box at the MoMa in New York.
LaToya Jackson is deathly afraid of cats.
You’re exited, you’re ready, you’re balls are about to bust with anticipation. TBRU is only a few days away. As much as you’ve planned and prepared there is still one more detail problem to cross of your list. How do you explain TBRU to straight people? The inevitable question “Where are you going this weekend?” may arise from your boss, parents, neighbors, brothers, sisters, etc. I’m all for honesty but certain people can only handle a certain level of honesty and then there are those you just have to lie to. The way you explain TBRU to your fag hag best girl friend is probably going to be different then what you say to your boss at work. Not to worry though. The Gay Gasp is here to help. I’ve provided you with a list of excuses and lies to tell your coworkers and loved ones:
You’re going to a charity event (this one’s actually true)
You’re visiting an old friend who moved to Dallas. If you live local, tell them friends are visiting form out of town.
It’s Dallas’ annual Gay Pride festival/Parade
You’re going to a yearly Comic book convention (or whatever hobby you’re into)
Vacation to New Orleans
A meditation retreat.
You’re a huge JFK history buff and you want to visit Dealey Plaza.
A distant cousin’s wedding
A distant aunt’s funeral (for a last minute excuse)
You’re a recovering alcoholic and trying to find the least Irish place to spend St. Patrick’s day.
Something to think about: If this is your first year at TBRU, trust me when I tell you that you’re going to have a good time and you’re going to want to come back. Therefore think of a lie that can be used for up coming years. For example using the annual convention or Dallas pride stories will allow you to come back next year without having to think of a new story because you can only have so many dead aunts or engaged cousins. Plan ahead!
2. Go to Bear Dance at S4. It’s so much fun! Don’t let the line discourage you, it moves very quickly.
3. With close to 1500 bears in town for the weekend, Growlr will be over loaded with men. Make the most of your ‘Nearby’ screen by blocking everyone you don’t want to meet or have sex with. It may be your hotel roommate or the creepy guy who won’t leave you alone. Block them to frees up more space for other hotties.
4. Don’t try an make sex plans ahead of time. It won’t happen. There is sex to be had everywhere but it’ll be spontaneous and organic.
5. DON’T GO IN THE CROWN PLAZA POOL ON SUNDAY. Trust me, you’ll get sick. I call it ‘kennel cough’ others call it the TBRU flu.
6. On a similar note: make use of over the counter illness prevention aids such as Airborne, Emergen C, and Vitamin C. (Especially if you are flying) You’re going to get very little sleep and be very drunk… it’s the perfect storm for illness. Give your immune system a pre-party boost.
7. Volunteering is a great way to meet new people outside your normal social circle.
8. The underwear auction if fun but it used to be better. Just a warning it’s way to long and way to many people. There might be a specific person you’re waiting for but he’s probably #30. By the time they get to him you’re already in bed face deep in some pillow.
9. The buses are a perfect way to get around. Be warned Sunday bus service is spotty so a car may be best.
10. If you are able to check in early, try and score a room a low floor to avoid the elevators. You’ll save valuable dick sucking time.
11. If this is your first time to Dallas, you should know that the Eagle in Dallas is NOT like every other Eagle in the country. There are no backrooms or play areas. Sorry.
13. Black Eyed Peas serves a great brunch.
14. Beware of the Mr. TBRU contest. Like the underwear auction, it’s very long without a big pay off.
15. The pool parties are loads of fun. This one of the few times you can wear you super skimpy swim suit.
The game is simple. Get a group of friends together and go through and answer each question. I promise the answers will bring back fun memories and get you gossiping about the latest news. There isn’t a need for game boards or cards and the only rule is honesty. (Alcohol isn’t required but it helps) I got the idea because TBRU is coming up and I will be spending large amount of quality time with my New England besties in various stages of intoxication. Hint: This game is best played with people you’ve know for a long time. If you want turn this into a drinking game its simple, anytime your answer matches someone else’s… take a drink! Or anytime your answer is someone in the room, take a drink.
Have fun! Note: the answers can involve anyone, not just people in the room playing.