Joy and Pain

Reflecting on Thanksgiving

I went home to Connecticut for Thanksgiving to spend quality time with my family. It was a wonderfully delicious dinner filled with turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, pumpkin pie, gravy, and more. My sister even stayed over for a night so we could all be under one roof again. I even got some couch time with the pugs. It was like old times as they fell asleep and snored on my lap. Spending the weekend with my parents and sister gave me the opportunity to recharge my battery. In the past I have never cared much for holidays but this year I couldn’t have been happier to be home. I didn’t even mind sleeping on a cheap blow up mattress. It was one of the best Thanksgiving I can remember with my family. 
My weekend was bitter sweet though. While I was back in the northeast I wanted to try and spend as much quality time with friends as I did with family. Unfortunately I was let down. Everyone has a life and things always come up. But I thought they would want to see me as much as I wanted to see them. I thought I was more important then bull shit. Bull shit won. I was not naive assuming that everyone would drop their holiday plans at a second’s notice. In fact, I tried to get the ball rolling back in September. I knew Thanksgiving weekend would be the best opportunity for quality time so I made a post on Facebook so my visit could be worked into schedules. As the weeks and months went by I also dropped reminder text messages to keep the thought fresh in mind. The response I got was pitiful. I don’t like to pull out the ‘distance card’ a lot, but I do in  fact live 1500 miles away now and I thought my return home would be met with a bit more celebration. It was one of those small moments in life where you see a person’s true nature. 
As I flew home Saturday night I was surprised at how relieved I was to be coming back to Dallas. I missed Dallas and I missed my boyfriend. I knew in my heart I had made the correct decision to move. I was also tremendously angry and disappointed for feeling like I had to beg a person to spend time with them. It’s an awful feeling when you have to beg. But life moves on and changes. I will choose to remember the great times of past and not the douche bag moments of the present.
One a finale note, I do not want the actions of a few to taint the actions of the many. Not everyone in Connecticut let me down. On Wednesday night I was able to catch up (even if just briefly) with a lot of good people. 


Happy Thanksgiving

I worked as a retail manager for a long time and after years at the mall I lost any holiday cheer. Thanksgiving and Christmas became just another day and I started to associate the entire season with business and stress. Having gotten out of the retail game, I noticed the scab has finally fallen off. This year is one of the first years in a very long time that I’m looking forward to the holidays. There have been many changes in my life this year and living 1500 miles aways has definitely affected my feelings toward Thanksgiving and Christmas. After months away I have the chance to come home and spend time with my family and friends. Absence really does make the heart grow fonder.

So the spirit of giving thanks and positive thinking, this is what I am thankful for:

I am thankful for meeting a wonderful man that I can now call my boyfriend. Changing my relationship status on Facebook was a rare treat that gave me joy. I have no idea what the future holds but I’m enjoying the ride.

I am thankful for change. I already knew it was true, but I confirmed to myself that change is always good. My life had become very routine and I need a major life overhaul to get me out of my rut.

I am thankful for exhibitionists. I love having horny friends that enjoying taking pictures and videos of themselves in various stages of sex and undress. Joe Hooch deserves a special shout out in this category. He’s one of the sexiest guys I know and I am in awe of his… shall we say… talent. I’ve never had the skill to pick up straight guys and I’ll admit I’m a little jealous of his ability to swallow straight dick. Keep it up Hooch! You’ve got my admiration and praise.

I am thankful for debt. It may sound very strange to be thankful for debt but I look at my Visa bill as a representation of all the fun I’ve had over the years. Most of my debt comes from traveling and furnishing an empty Dallas apartment. (In general, moving to Texas tripled my debt) I have no regrets though. I am also lucky to have a job that allows me the opportunity to be able to pay off said debt.

Most importantly, spending time with your family can be wonderful and awful all at the same time. This year take a moment to reflect on how you can help others, and by others I of course mean me. Sneak upstairs  and pull out Growlr, Xtube, or Tumblr. Whatever you need to get horny. Then send me the pictures/video of you jerking off. If you have a horny friend, a blow job, rimming, or fucking video is much preferred. Please help me be more thankful for nudity, cum shots, and cockrings today.  I promise, your donation will not go unused.

iPhone iGone

My iPhone was stolen Tuesday night. The details are not important nor are they very interesting. Instead I want to focus on what happened after the fact. The story branches off in several directions follow along part by part:
Part 1: Did you use Find My Phone?

Whenever I tell someone that my phone is stolen I always get the same response without fail. “Did you use the find my phone feature?”
Let me be clear on one point, my phone was not lost, forgotten, or misplaced. It was taken from me. So finding my phone wouldn’t really do any good. Let’s say I used the feature and then located the phone via GPS…then what? Get a bunch of angry baseball bat wielding lesbians to hunt the guy down? Call the police? I doubt a stolen iPhone is at the top of their priority list. It’s gone. I happen to be chatting with a gent on Growlr who recognized me from being at J Crew the night before. I told him I was there to get a new phone case and he asked if the new case was the one featured in my profile pic. (My profile pic is a mirror shot taken with my old phone and case) I informed him that sadly no, that phone and case was stolen. This got him all worked up, and in an effort to help he went on a diatribe, “Did you use Find My Phone to locate it? You know it can play a sound or even take a picture so you know where it is or who has it.” On and on he went. I was already tired of dealing with the situation and wasn’t in the mood to rehash all the detail to a Growlr stranger. I tried to be concise and to the point. “Thanks for the tip. Unfortunately my phone is gone. A lot of people have much bigger problems so I’ll just move on. No serious harm done.” That’s how I feel about the whole ordeal. It sucked and I was angry and upset when it happened. However, I can look at the big picture and realize it’s a small drop in the bucket. I was not harmed and if I had to choose between my wallet and my phone, I’d rather have my phone be taken. Oh and to answer your other question, no I did not have insurance on my phone. The best way to sum up the event is #FIRSTWORLDPROBLEMS
Part 2: What to do when your phone is stolen
Yes it’s true; there is a find your phone feature on the iPhone that can help with misplaced devices within your home. Through the iCloud website you can make your phone or tablet make noise even if it’s on silent. As I said, this feature was of little use to me with my situation. Instead I used another very helpful feature. Through the same site, I was able to wipe out my phone remotely. Basically the next time someone went to use my phone, Apple would automatically wipe out all of my information. That was re-assuring. Next I went online and suspended my service through AT&T and changed my Facebook and email passwords. I tried to change any passwords that were saved as defaults on my phone. I didn’t need some cholo reeking havoc on my friends list. Now that I felt safe that my identity wasn’t stolen, there was still the small matter of not having a phone. I don’t have a land line phone at my apt so there was no way to call and notify people. Facebook messaging came in handy as I typed calls for help.
Part 3: A Little Help from my friends
I was very lucky that my Texas cowboy had just upgraded to the iPhone 5 because he was kind enough to give me his old iPhone 4. Thank god because I checked and I was not eligible for an upgrade until June of 2013 meaning I would’ve had to pay full price. Yikes! On a random side note: When I reloaded the new phone it brought back my pictures, settings, and apps as promised. The bizarre thing is that is brought back everything as of mid September. So for example, I lost every picture I’ve taken in the last 2 months. Not a huge loss, just strange. But back to our story, when it first happened I felt violated. I also felt like a naive out-of-towner who was bitch slapped by the big city. I definitely admit I was a bit to comfortable and thought this type of thing wouldn’t happen to me. In a moment of fear and panic I retreated to Irving to spend the night at the cowboy’s apartment. He gave me a big hug and withheld any judgment. As I look back on it, the non judgment was huge. I’ve talked at length before about people reacting badly in tense situations (See ‘Stick and Stones Can Break My Bones’ from Sept 30th) and how one poor reaction can taint my feelings toward them. Had it been a test, he would have passed with flying colors. He was supportive, calm, and helped get my mind off of the evening’s events. I also felt much better having someone to sleep next to that night.
Part 4: I’m a pessimistic optimist
The night it happened I was shaken, embarrassed, and upset. Since then I’ve tried to have a very Zen approach to the whole incident and put it into perspective. Like I said, there are people in the world with real problems and my one little phone doesn’t amount to much in the grand scheme of things. Hunger, disease, catastrophe… those are problems. I always try and think It could have been worse.  Until now I never thought of myself as an optimist. In fact I think I tend to expect the worst in many situations. However when the worst happens, I’ve noticed I usually try and find the the positive spin. The Oprah way out of things. By that I mean, the Oprah lesson that this minor upset is a lesson in disguise and use it as a chance to grow. I guess the lesson is perspective. Your troubles are only as great as you think they are. Plus it helps to have supportive friends that will lend a helping hand. (or phone)

Expensive Nonsense

Christmas is only a month an a half away so I thought I’d give you some holiday shopping suggestions for everyone on your list. This week focuses on the uber wealthy who have nothing else to do but waste their money on overpriced nonsense. Here are the must haves for the billionaire with cash to burn:


Metallic Gold Leather Jacket by John Galliano
(Obviously my personal favorite!) 

Flying Hoovercraft
Hammacher Schlemmer 

20 Foot Animatronic Triceratops
Hammacher Schlemmer

Authentic New York Hot Dog Cart
Hammacher Schlemmer 

Le Mer: Creme de la Mer 16.5 oz
Neimann Marcus

Ballon Blue de Cartier Watch

Donald Trump is Racist! An Open Letter to the Republican Party

Dear Republicans, 

I’ve had a good night sleep so I’m feeling extra nice. Due to my good mood I thought I would give you some advise after a big lose on Tuesday. You were running against President Obama who did not have strong approval ratings. Now that the election is over I’ll even admit Obama was beatable. But you still lost and even though that gives me evil pleasure. I want to help. The Republican Party is like the Oldsmobile auto brand, past it’s prime and due to be discontinued. Rather then face extinction, here are some tips to update and revamp your image.


Donald Trump is a racist buffoon who loves to hear himself talk. He has questioned the president’s birthplace forcing Obama to release his birth certificate. Not to be dissuaded he went on to question the president’s education based on no evidence of dishonesty. It boils down to pure racism. Deep down I think/hope that the Republican party doesn’t agree with what Trump says but they play nice because he one of the only celebrities they have on their side. (Apart from Clint Eastwood and we saw how that worked out) Here’s the thing though, Trump is incredibly racist and he’s doing much more harm then good. Even the average citizen who may dabble in racism can tell something’s wrong and he’s gone a bit to far. When I say dabbles in racism I simply mean the kind of person who uses the N word followed by the classic phrase “I’m not racist, I have black friends.” While we’re on the subject of racists, the Republicans need to de-friend the Tea Partiers. They are also shockingly racist. The first Tea Party rallies were only a month or two after Obama took office back in 2009. That means they weren’t angry with Obama as much as they simply wanted their white guy back.


Your core support group is shrinking. Actually dying may be a more appropriate word. Straight angry white guys do not have the same power in numbers as that they used to because they are literally dying. Minority groups as a whole are growing and republicans have done nothing to reach out to them. I saw a commentator on CNN speak about Obama’s win of swing state Nevada. She had this to say, “Many of the Hispanic voters in Nevada didn’t love how Obama first term, but they were terrified of life under Romney.” I think a lot of (minority) voters across the country felt the same way. They chose Obama because they really didn’t want Romney or the republicans. Like minorities, young voters see republicans as out of touch. Times have changed and republicans have not. It reminds me of the church. Religion’s influence has seriously eroded over the last 25 years and they have done nothing to reach out to younger parishioners with ever changing needs. Adding insult to injury, Republicans rely heavily on religious voters. Oops! You’re screwed on both ends.
Shockingly, I’m going to reference an American Guy episode to help make my point. (I know, I know) In the episode, and anti-gay republican Stan Smith has the epiphany that (gay) Log Cabin republicans did not choose to be gay but they did chose to be Republican. Why turn away potential supports because of one (non-life threatening) issue. When you discriminate against gays you are also loosing out on their money and voting power. It also sends out a general vibe of anger and hatred that’s not attractive to anyone. If the Republicans were a guy on Growlr, he’d have the long profile diatribe listing everything he doesn’t like. Don’t forget, no fems or fatties. Back to politics, warming up to gays would send a message to other voters. Whether you call us the Heathers or the Plastics… lets face it, we’re the cool kids and everyone wants to be wear we are and do what we do. If you get the gays I promise black, Hispanic, and other minority voters will slowly follow. I also won’t go into the long diatribe about how gay marriage literally has no affect on straight people’s lives what so ever. NONE! Why do you care so much.But that’s a subject for another post.

Similar to the Donald Trump, the Republican party seems to be overrun with crazies. Michelle Bachman, Rick Santorum, Newt Gingrich, and Sarah Palin amongst others. I can think of 4 high level crazies right off the top of my head and I don’t even follow politics that closely. It doesn’t stop there, you had not one but two idiot candidates talking about rape. RAPE! I’ve never taken a public speaking class but I’m sure lesson #1 is don’t talk about legitimate rape. It’s time to do some spring cleaning and get rid of all the nut jobs giving you bad press. They’re making the democrat’s job way to easy. 

I hope this helps. I’ll personally never vote for a republican candidate but it’s always nice to have an enemy that puts up a good fight. Obama nailed Romney’s ass to the wall on election night. Hey, maybe that’s what Todd Akin meant by legitimate rape?

Yours Truly
The Gay Gasp

P.S. Romney lost the state of Wisconsin even though that is the home state of running make Paul Ryan. To make it worse, Romney didn’t even win Ryan’s home county. You’d think Ryan would have enough family members and friends to have an edge but Obama still won. Yikes. 


First look through the list and then we’ll chat.

The Photographer
Jon Gati
Facebook Friends 1361
Instagram Followers: 600

The Up and Comer 
Jared Wilson
Facebook Friends: 1388
Instagram Followers: 1568

The Tumblr Star
Jeff Sommerfield
Facebook Friends: 3210
Instagram Followers: 315

The Boy Next Door
Tyler Blair
Facebook Friends: 666
Instagram Followers: 1010

The Traveler
Joe Guerrero
Facebook Friends: Hidden
Instagram Followers: 100

The Smirk
Russell Neill
Facebook Friends: 1252
Instagram Followers: 922

The Hollywood Couple
Dean DeBlois and JD George
Facebook Friends: Hidden
Instagram Followers: 404 (JD)

Beef Wellington
Nick Robles
Facebook Friends: 1269
Instagram Followers: 999

What makes a bearlebrity? It’s a phenomena born from the internet and the digital age. They are the men who everyone knows or knows of. In some cases you may not know their name but you may definitely recognize them from Tumblr and Instagram. The most common response to seeing their picture is usually, “Oh I’ve seen him before.” As anyone can see by scrolling through the list good looks and sex appeal goes a long way. Sometimes a pretty face is all you need for attention. Obviously my list isn’t an exact science but I tried to pick the guys who are well known throughout the country not just on their home turf. I also picked guys who will provoke a strong reaction. Forgettable, boring, and beige are not words you would ever use to describe them. Another factor is travel. Those who do not have a strong online presence may make up points from traveling often and simply meeting more people. For example, from what I can tell through Facebook, Joe Guerrero travels a lot for work. Therefore he’s probably able to meet a lot more people then if he was stuck behind a desk in Boston. He’s just one of those guys that everyone knows. (I assume he travels for work because he’s always checking in at airports lol)

I won’t go through everyone one by one but there are a couple important notes.  First, Tyler Blair is very deservedly on the list even though I’m not sure he identifies as a bear. Of everyone, he has the most cross-over potential. Also if you get a chance look up his adorable Youtube videos. Dean is the only guy who is a legitimate celebrity and I challenge you to go a day on Tumblr without seeing Jeff Sommerfield. Another key take away is that Instagram is playing and increasingly bigger role in social media. If you’re not on Instagram… sign up. Second, I need to give Russell Neill a shout out because he was a big help in researching this post, especially when it came to finding them on Instagram.

*It should be mentioned that I don’t know all these guys personally. I simply created the list as an observer in the community. I truly intended the list to be fun and no one should take it or me very seriously. So I hope JD, Dean, Russell, Jared, Tyler, Joe, Nick, Jeff and Jon have a get a good laugh and find this post flattering.

**Russell Neill also wanted it pointed out that he is taller the Jeff Sommerfield.