If you’re reading this there’s a good chance you’re a bear or at least you hang out with bears. There’s also a good chance that you like beefy guys that have beefy bellies. There is a natural overlap in the bear and chub communities. I love a big hot man with a big hot belly. If you ask any chubby lover one of the hottest parts of a man is the bottom curve of his belly over his waist band. (a big beefy butt is also a plus) Like my friend Bob once said, “Being fat is more fun.” There is a large portion of the gay community that agrees with everything I’ve said so far and I probably follow all of them of Tumblr. I know some of you agree with me because there was a whole conversation at last weekend’s party about how much better a guy looks now that he’s gained weight. (Side note: He looks FUCKING HOT!)

With the flags waiving for bear pride and chubby pride, one things still fascinates me. Maybe I took one to many Sociology classes but I’ve always been interested in the reasons behind other people’s opinions. There is one word representing a small sect in the gay community that causes very strong reactions from all sides. Gainers. If you’re out of the loop a gainer is just what it sounds like, someone who gains weight on purpose. They want to be big. In my experience, when the subject comes up, people tend to think it’s strange, weird, or gross. That’s fine and everyone is entitled to their opinion, but what I find truly fascinating is that a lot of these same people are also attracted to chubby guys. As if one has nothing to do with the other? Guess what, most people are fat because they eat to much and don’t exercises enough. (myself included) Yet there is an unspoken social rule that says if you’re fat you can be sexy BUT you shouldn’t want to be fat on purpose. If you’re trying to gain weight there must be something wrong with you.  Am I the only one who sees the irony here?
My good friend Stan once told me a story about the best way to pick up chasers: “When you’re a chubby guy, the easiest way to get a chaser is to act sky and pretend like you think you’re ugly. The more you pretend to have low self esteem the more they eat it up. Saying things like, ‘I don’t really like my body, I mean I could never get a guy like you…’ always seals the deal.” I know this is an extreme example and I can hear all the chasers starting to get offended, but I think there is still some truth to it. Again it goes back to that unwritten social rule: a big guy may be comfortable with himself, but if he ever had the choice he would choose to be skinny. The hot chub is seen as a victim of his circumstances and the proud chubby gainer is seen as a freak. 
After reading this, I know everyone is curious to know what my opinion is and if I am a gainer. I’ll give it to you straight:

First, I have no problem with gainers and I don’t think it’s weird. There was a time when I didn’t understand it until I made an important connection. Gainers have almost the exact same mentality as body builders. Think about it, both groups want more body mass. The only difference is once group chooses muscle and one chooses fat. Once I made that connection I understood it a lot more. If it’s considered ‘normal’ to spend most of your day in the gym and use illegal drugs just to gain muscle mass, why is it so strange to want to be fat? With regard to the ‘it’s not healthy’ argument, who amongst us is healthy enough to throw that stone in their big glass house?

As for myself, I don’t consider myself a gainer. I currently weigh about 270lbs give or take (I left my scale in Connecticut) and I don’t have any plans to change that in the near future. I do think I look better with more weight on my frame and I’m very comfortable with my belly. As I’ve said in the past, when I was in college I lost about 40-50lbs and got down to 180lbs which was my lowest weight as an adult. However when I lost the weight I realized that I didn’t like the way my body looked in the mirror. So while I didn’t gain the weight back on purpose, I did make a conscious decision to stop my workouts and loosen my strict eating regimen. So maybe I was a gainer before is was had a name. Gasp! I’m such a trend setter.

Spirit vs JetBlue

I haven’t posted in a while because I’ve been traveling for work and fun. The fun travel was a quick trip home for 4th of July festivities. I few from Dallas to Boston direct on Spirit Airlines’ redeye and when I flew home JetBlue was my airline of choice. As someone who travels a fair amount I wanted to share my impressions of these discount carriers. I wanted to give you some useful information so that you can make an informed decision the next time you fly. Let’s dive right in:

Spirit Airlines

I’ve flown Spirit twice now because they have a red eye (leaving at 1:30 am) flight direct to Boston that remains very cheap even if you book last minute. The best way to describe Spirit is that you get what you pay for. The fair is low but it’s no frills and everything is an extra charge. Carry on luggage, anything bigger then a backpack or laptop bag, is subject to a fee on top of the fee for checked luggage. Both times I’ve flown on Spirit it has been for a short trip so I was able to pack a backpack and avoid any carry on charges. Once you’re on the plane drinks or snacks are an extra charge because they don’t even give you the ‘one free soda’ like many other airlines. Like I said… no frills. The funny thing about Spirit is that they obviously purchased their plane for another airline because the seats have never been re-upholstered.  I also took advantage of their offer to pay $50 for seat with more room. When you pay the extra charge you get to sit in the first row (the first class seats on the old owner’s plane) which gives you more leg room and a much larger seat. This is a dream for any chubby boy with beefy arms and shoulders like myself. I also have personal space issues so I don’t like being pressed arm to arm with a stranger. There may be a lot of extra charges but sitting comfortably is a major plus.


Almost everything about JetBlue is the total opposite of Spirit. JetBlue just started flying from Boston to Dallas and they have a fresh new terminal at Logan Airport. When I checked in at Logan to fly home I opted for their $45 extra room seat. After I printed my boarding pass I headed to security. Much to my surprise, paying for extra room also gave me the privilege to going through the VIP security line normally reserved for pilots and crew members. That’s a great bonus. Once I got on the new and modern plane each seat had it’s own personal tv monitor with 40 channels of free cable tv. Like I said before, it’s the opposite of Spirit. They even gave out the standard free soda. All was good except for one thing. I assumed when I paid for the upgrade I would get the same size seat as I did on Spirit. Not so. When you pay for an upgrade on JetBlue it only gives the benefit of more leg room. The actual size (width) of the seat is the same. Therefore for the next 4 hours I sat watching Bravo on my tv with my shoulders pulled in.

Everyone reading this may have a variety of different priorities when they travel so you can make up your own mind. I will also mention that both airlines were courteous while providing a smooth ride and JetBlue’s price was only $40-50 more then Spirit. The choice between the two really comes down to price and the little extras that can make a world of difference. For my part, Spirit has a slight lead only because they offer bigger seats so I can sit comfortably. If you’re skinnier or don’t mind a lack of elbow room then JetBlue is great option.