If you’re reading this there’s a good chance you’re a bear or at least you hang out with bears. There’s also a good chance that you like beefy guys that have beefy bellies. There is a natural overlap in the bear and chub communities. I love a big hot man with a big hot belly. If you ask any chubby lover one of the hottest parts of a man is the bottom curve of his belly over his waist band. (a big beefy butt is also a plus) Like my friend Bob once said, “Being fat is more fun.” There is a large portion of the gay community that agrees with everything I’ve said so far and I probably follow all of them of Tumblr. I know some of you agree with me because there was a whole conversation at last weekend’s party about how much better a guy looks now that he’s gained weight. (Side note: He looks FUCKING HOT!)
With the flags waiving for bear pride and chubby pride, one things still fascinates me. Maybe I took one to many Sociology classes but I’ve always been interested in the reasons behind other people’s opinions. There is one word representing a small sect in the gay community that causes very strong reactions from all sides. Gainers. If you’re out of the loop a gainer is just what it sounds like, someone who gains weight on purpose. They want to be big. In my experience, when the subject comes up, people tend to think it’s strange, weird, or gross. That’s fine and everyone is entitled to their opinion, but what I find truly fascinating is that a lot of these same people are also attracted to chubby guys. As if one has nothing to do with the other? Guess what, most people are fat because they eat to much and don’t exercises enough. (myself included) Yet there is an unspoken social rule that says if you’re fat you can be sexy BUT you shouldn’t want to be fat on purpose. If you’re trying to gain weight there must be something wrong with you. Am I the only one who sees the irony here?
My good friend Stan once told me a story about the best way to pick up chasers: “When you’re a chubby guy, the easiest way to get a chaser is to act sky and pretend like you think you’re ugly. The more you pretend to have low self esteem the more they eat it up. Saying things like, ‘I don’t really like my body, I mean I could never get a guy like you…’ always seals the deal.” I know this is an extreme example and I can hear all the chasers starting to get offended, but I think there is still some truth to it. Again it goes back to that unwritten social rule: a big guy may be comfortable with himself, but if he ever had the choice he would choose to be skinny. The hot chub is seen as a victim of his circumstances and the proud chubby gainer is seen as a freak.
After reading this, I know everyone is curious to know what my opinion is and if I am a gainer. I’ll give it to you straight:
First, I have no problem with gainers and I don’t think it’s weird. There was a time when I didn’t understand it until I made an important connection. Gainers have almost the exact same mentality as body builders. Think about it, both groups want more body mass. The only difference is once group chooses muscle and one chooses fat. Once I made that connection I understood it a lot more. If it’s considered ‘normal’ to spend most of your day in the gym and use illegal drugs just to gain muscle mass, why is it so strange to want to be fat? With regard to the ‘it’s not healthy’ argument, who amongst us is healthy enough to throw that stone in their big glass house?
As for myself, I don’t consider myself a gainer. I currently weigh about 270lbs give or take (I left my scale in Connecticut) and I don’t have any plans to change that in the near future. I do think I look better with more weight on my frame and I’m very comfortable with my belly. As I’ve said in the past, when I was in college I lost about 40-50lbs and got down to 180lbs which was my lowest weight as an adult. However when I lost the weight I realized that I didn’t like the way my body looked in the mirror. So while I didn’t gain the weight back on purpose, I did make a conscious decision to stop my workouts and loosen my strict eating regimen. So maybe I was a gainer before is was had a name. Gasp! I’m such a trend setter.
One thought on “Gainers”
I searched and found your article and found it interesting. I’m a chub, 6’2, 360, and I’m starting a relationship with a slim chaser who is attracted to the idea of me gaining weight for him. I told a good friend about him and how he is always asking me did you gain any weight since we last talked and my friend goes, “Oh No! You have a Gainer!” He goes on to say that I should cut him loose. So this was my official introduction to this concept of “Gainers” and it’s from a quite different perspective than your article. If I could choose, I would much rather be slim to muscular build which is also what I am attracted to. I’m a big guy who is not into other big buys so you can imagine me trying to arrive at a place of being understanding here. Plus, I really like this guy but not as much as I love myself. Hell, I’m conflicted on the subject. I like the fact that he likes me as is. I only date men that are truly into big men. I am not one of those low self esteem guys because I attract some of everything from cute to handsome. Ok I’m rambling… Anyway my guy when asked won’t tell me why or how he got like this. He claimes he doesnt know but I feel like he is hiding something. How can he not know why he likes people gaining before his eyes? That’s what I think is a little wired.