Due to recent events, I thought it was a good time to give you an update on one of my more memorable posts. Big Love (October 12, 2011) discussed the newest fad of dating in multiples, i.e polyamory. Polyamory is the best umbrella term I can think of when discussing dating in multiples because each situation can be set up differently and have it’s own configuration. Triad is another useful term but it implies that everyone has an equal partnership when that’s not always the case. The most common type I’ve seen is when one person has two boyfriends. Although I did know of a few true traids. In the original post I mentioned 5 new polyamorous relationships and since then 3 of the 5 them have broken up. In addition, more polyamorous couples have formed in the last 7 months but they all have later disbanded. It seems like life has gotten in the way and the fad is quickly dying. In most cases one member has left the arrangement leaving a 2some although not always the original 2some. When I look at the breakups I have mixed feelings. In general I’m not shocked when a triad breaks up. It’s like hearing that a celebrity is getting a divorce… It’s never unheard of. Yet I was surprised at which couples have survived and which have called it quits. Some of the relationships I pegged to fall apart quickly have survived and vice versa.
I still wonder if deep down everyone in the arrangement is completely happy. Like I said, most of the triads I know are situations where one person has two boyfriends. Does the #1 boyfriend ever feel replaced or like a third wheel? Does the #2 boyfriend feel like he deserves more then being treated like a cock sucking boy toy? Does the man in the middle give a shit what either of them thinks? All good questions that I would love to know the answer to. It is possible that everyone is happy and enjoying life, but I suspect there are some deep cracks in the foundation that no one wants to acknowledge. Only time will tell if they repair the cracks or if everything crumbles.