Update: Big Love

Due to recent events, I thought it was a good time to give you an update on one of my more memorable posts. Big Love (October 12, 2011) discussed the newest fad of dating in multiples, i.e polyamory. Polyamory is the best umbrella term I can think of when discussing dating in multiples because each situation can be set up differently and have it’s own configuration. Triad is another useful term but it implies that everyone has an equal partnership when that’s not always the case. The most common type I’ve seen is when one person has two boyfriends. Although I did know of a few true traids. In the original post I mentioned 5 new polyamorous relationships and since then 3 of the 5 them have broken up. In addition, more polyamorous couples have formed in the last 7 months but they all have later disbanded. It seems like life has gotten in the way and the fad is quickly dying. In most cases one member has left the arrangement leaving a 2some although not always the original 2some. When I look at the breakups I have mixed feelings. In general I’m not shocked when a triad breaks up. It’s like hearing that a celebrity is getting a divorce… It’s never unheard of. Yet I was surprised at which couples have survived and which have called it quits. Some of the relationships I pegged to fall apart quickly have survived and vice versa.

I still wonder if deep down everyone in the arrangement is completely happy. Like I said, most of the triads I know are situations where one person has two boyfriends. Does the #1 boyfriend ever feel replaced or like a third wheel? Does the #2 boyfriend feel like he deserves more then being treated like a cock sucking boy toy? Does the man in the middle give a shit what either of them thinks? All good questions that I would love to know the answer to. It is possible that everyone is happy and enjoying life, but I suspect there are some deep cracks in the foundation that no one wants to acknowledge. Only time will tell if they repair the cracks or if everything crumbles.

Are you excited?

When I tell people I’m moving, the question I get asked most is “So are you excited?” I realized early that any other answer other then a ‘yes’ is not a satisfactory. When I explain that I’ve been so busy and haven’t had time to get excited I can see the disappointment on their faces. It’s the truth though. Deep down I really am looking forward to moving and starting fresh. I expect time to go by very quickly as it will take me several months to really feel settled in. Once I’m there it will be great having a grocery store and gayborhood all within walking distance. Plus my apartment complex has two pools and a free gym. Those two swimming pools are going to come in handy because everyone keeps warning me about the heat. Yes it’ll be tough but waking up almost every morning to sunshine is priceless and come winter time I’ll be laughing it up in short sleeves as the northeast gets hit with another blizzard.

When I accepted the position in Texas it was like a countdown clock started. Six weeks to get my New England life wrapped up and moved to the Lone Star state. Now with my departure date only one week away my head is filled with a very long To-Do list of setting up delivery dates, changing addresses, sorting through possessions and saying goodbye to my friends and family. Everything in my brain is organized around three dates:

Wednesday 5/30/12- I leave Connecticut and start driving to Dallas

Monday 6/4/12- My first day at my new office in Richardson

Friday 6/8/12- I can move into my new apartment.

Between now and next Wednesday is going to be the busiest. I’m working in the office today because I have to return my computer and work station equipment now that I won’t be working from home. Once work is over I’m heading directly up to Albany NY for one last Bear Albany weekend. It’s going to be my last big party! Monday consists of a small Memorial Day cook out at my parents’ house and Tuesday is the BIG packing day because I leave bright and early Wednesday morning.

Once I start driving it should take me about 30 hours according to Google. I have two stops planned, first in Charleston , WV and second in Memphis , TN. I thought about playing it by ear and stopping when I felt the need but I decided against it. I wanted to have a specific destination for each day so I would know how many miles or hours I had left rather then thinking “Oh I have 26 hours and 5 states left to go before Dallas .” This way the trip gets broken up into 10 hour chunks. Also, although it’s unlikely, hotels could be all sold out by the time I get there.

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Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy

I’ve never purchased anything from Amazon.com because it seems like a glorified flee market. No I don’t want to buy it used from Gary’s Gadgets. The same applies to Ebay.

Kristen Stewart wore a black lace Marchesa gown to the premier of Snow White and the Huntsman. Somewhere a stylist is being shot.

On The Big Bang Theory, Penny works at the Cheesecake Factory. I assume the restaurant pays for the product placement so why does the restaurant set look like the 90’s version of the Regal Beagle?

GCB was cancelled. God Dammit.

The TV Guide Network is trying to become a real network showing sitcoms minus the scrolling listings underneath. Their line up includes Caroline in the City, Designing Women, Ugly Betty, and Darma and Greg. My suggestions: Mad About You, Murphy Brown, and Perfect Strangers.

I’m starting to pack and get ready for my big move next week and I’m having to get rid of huge amount of stuff. I have yet to decide weather it’s cathartic or heart breaking.

Facebook’s IPO got a lot of buzz, but now that the company is trading publicly shares have had a roller coaster ride. That didn’t stop Mark Zuckerburg from marrying Priscilla Chan over the weekend though. She looked very pretty and he looked like a slob.

Moving has brought a tremendous sense of closure.

Adele’s cover of British Vogue was one of the worst selling covers in the magazine’s history.

I realized that Andy Cohen from Bravo’s Watch What Happens Live is Jack Mcfarland from Will&Grace. He starts out running a gay network and eventually is given his own late night talk show Jack Talk. 

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Booty Pop

A while back at a party the subject of the ‘booty pop’ came up. I was stunned to find out that many of my friends had never heard of it before. A booty pop is when you thrust your ample ass checks out in a quick motion. It’s not to be confused with a ‘booty clap’ which occurs when you pop your butt out with enough force to make your ass checks clap together. In either case you need to have a big bouncy ass to make it work. Usually booty claps are only done by a fierce black girl wearing thongs. It’s rare to find any white person with enough junk in their trunk to pull off the move. Enjoy!

New Music

Azealia Banks is the newest female rapper giving Nicki Minaj a run for her money. Her first single 212 is out now. Give it a shot. I didn’t love it at first but it’s slowly starting to grow on me.

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Footloose

My feet are big and have a striking resemblance to cement blocks. As you can see my feet are wide. EEE width to be exact. (Normal width is a D) That can make it challenging when I need shoes. I thank god that New Balance has consistently carried wide width sneakers. Dress shows however are a very different story. As wide as my feet are, they are also thick (with high arches). When I use the word thick, I mean the distance from the floor (or sole) to the top of my foot. Thick feet make it almost impossible to find cute work shoes. Let me correct myself, thick feet make it impossible to find ANY work shows. Another benefit of working from home was that I didn’t have to worry about any of this. I took the picture below in Nordstrom’s Rack and the black shoes are a size 12 Wide. That is as far as I could get my foot into it. Did I mention they were wide width? Not to be discouraged I shopped on. After 6 more stores I was discouraged. Dress shoes are not made to fit my feet and most times I can’t even get my toes past the laces. I wanted to get a pair of brown and blue Cole Haan wingtips but alas it was not meant to be. Usually I have to find the most appropriate casual shoes that are designed more like sneakers. I had to settle for ‘passable’ Ecco brand casual gray sneakers shoes. I’ll never be able to look dashing dressed up in a fancy suit with shiny wingtips. Le Sigh.

P.S. In case you didn’t know or notice, yes I have two webbed toes.

Florence and the Machine

The first concert I ever went to was Kool and the Gang at the Oakdale Theater when I was very very young. Since then I’ve seen some very memorable shows but I wouldn’t consider myself an avid concert goer. If someone I really like comes to town I’ll consider buying a ticket but it’s rare. Then after I’ve seen them once, I usually don’t feel the need to ever see them again. For Madonna it took two tours for me to cross her off my list. In the past I’ve seen: Justin Timberlake, Christina Aguilera, Madonna, Britney Spears, Barenaked Ladies, Pearl Jam, Salt-n-Pepa, the Cranberries, Marilyn Manson, Destiny’s Child, Stone Temple Pilots, Hole, Nicki Minaj, New Kids on the Block (when they first came out, not the reunion tour) Jessica Simpson, Lady Gaga, and Tori Amos. I would see more shows but ticket prices are outrageous.  A ticket for a major artist can cost $100 for the worst seats in the house and over $300 for the floor. I can’t justify paying hundreds of dollars for someone I don’t absolutely love. For the record, the most money I ever spent on a ticket was to see Madonna. Worth it!

This past Friday Florance and the Machine came to Mohegan Sun and tickets started at $50. I love F+M and $50 is a perfect ticket price. Would I have paid $100 to see them? NO. Unfortunately I heard about the show late and all the tickets were sold out. Luckily two friends of mine, Bob and Jeff, are concert fanatics. Concerts for them are what cloths are for me…an addiction. They gave me the best insider tip: If a concert is ever sold out, wait until the day of the event to look for tickets. Specifically at noon or 4pm the box office usually released a lot of the seats they’ve been holding back for concert promoters and give aways. I was patient and waited until Friday on my lunch break. Wouldn’t you know it, suddenly there were a plethora of seat available.
 
 
I didn’t know what to expect from the show and therefore I didn’t have an any expectations. The last concert I saw was Britney Spears’ Femme Fatale tour at the Harford Civic Center and the only reason I went was because Groupon had tickets for $30. It was a fun show, but to say my expectations were low is like saying Antarctica gets a little chilly. I don’t care that she lip synced the entire time because the point of Britney is not her voice. In all the words used to describe her, vocal talent is not on the list. I tend to go for show woth big production values. (Madonna, Gaga, etc) With that being said, I haven’t seen a show from a performer who is truly a good singer in a very long time. When Florence Welch came out and started to sing I was stunned. Her voice is just as powerful in person as it is on the album. She was shockingly good. She didn’t have to strain or force it, she simply opened her mouth and her power house vocal cords took over. Stunning. The set was art deco yet simple but Welch’s personality and exuberance was intoxicating. She seemed generally happy and excited to be performing for us. I can’t speak more highly of Florence and the Machine. If you are a genuine fan of their music make an effort to see them live. You won’t regret it.
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Gay Gay Gay Gay Gay (& Swiss)

It’s been a busy news week so far. The week began with news that North Carolina voters passed a (state) Constitutional Amendment banning gay marriage. I don’t know much about the Carolina’s but I was surprised by the vote. Historically South Carolina is often pointed to as the official beginning of the South and therefore I assumed NC was a bit more liberal. As Rupaul said, “North Carolina that means you are up for elimination.” The bad news was quickly followed by good news via President Obama. He gave an interview with ABC News officially coming out in favor of gay marriage. He left the door open adding that it was still a states right to define the law, but personally he supported the legalization of gay marriage. Bravo President Obama, you’re headed in the right direction.

In other, much less important news, John Travolta is being sued by two unnamed male masseurs claiming he sexually assaulted them. The details are unclear but it sounds like Travolta made a sexual advance while getting a massage. The two men are listed in the law suit as “John Doe” because they are afraid of embarrassment and press coverage. That almost makes me believe their story even more. If they were just fame hungry trash trying to get attention their names would be plastered in every news paper headline. Of course that could change and they me be Monday’s guest of the Today show. (I can also picture Travolta trying to get a Handy J from a muscled up masseuse.) A piece of advice straight from me to you John: “Girl, you better throw buckets of cash at these two guys because you live in a house of Scientology cards that’s about to be blown down. I don’t see this issue going away quickly if you don’t.”
Michelle Bachmann didn’t want to be left out so she decided to make her own news. She announced this week that she has just become a Swiss citizen. Her husband (who’s not gay but probably BFF with John Travolta) is of Swiss decent so her whole family decided to take advantage. Oh you crazy Swiss Miss Bitch.