$50,000 Dreams

How much money would it take for you to quit your job? Everyone has dreams of holding the winning lotto ticket for a multi-million dollar fortune, but life doesn’t always work out that way. What if you won $50,000? It’s more then my current salary at work so I’d be more then easy to live work free for a year. A year without work would mean I could travel near and far without restraint. I could sip cocktails by the GPS pool or take a road trip across the country. Oh the possibilities…
But a year goes by fast and in the end I’d be out of money and out of a job. So $50,000 would not be enough to quit my (current) job. If I won a million or more I would definitely quit. No questions asked. It’s the equivalent of more then 20 years of my current salary. If I won anything under 1 million it would take a lot of thought and consideration. Although most likely I’d use it as supplemental income instead of a primary source. If I got $600,000 I could buy a nice condo in Blue Back Square but then I’d have no money for the utilities and condo fees… so work would be required. $200K would be a great way to pay for a lot of first class flights to bear runs across the country. If I had my choice, I would want to win Connecticut lotto’s Lucky for Life where they pay you $2000 a week for the rest of your life. That would be perfect! Half the money could be used for bills and practical matters while the other half could be pure fun money.
Dear God, please challenge me with these difficult choices one day. Please!  


I’m a huge supporter of therapy. At some point in life, everyone has enough issues to fill up at least one hour. It’s a great way to work through your problems with an unbiased outside source. I was having dinner with a friend  and we got on the topic when he mentioned he went to see someone recently. He said he liked her because she was a lesbian who understood some of his particular challenges. I’ve recently thought about going in for a couple sessions to work through some bitterness I’m having trouble letting go of. It’s nothing too serious but it would take a therapist a couple of hours to solve as apposed to several months and years of me doing it on my own. The problem is that everything is contingent on finding the perfect therapist. I’m hesitant to talk to a professional about it all because I don’t know if he/she will understand the unique situation and culture that I live in. Simply stated: I need a gay therapist. Don’t get me wrong I’m not embarrassed about gay bear culture, I just want someone who’s already updated on the subject so I don’t have to waste a whole session giving background information. I picture going into see a heterosexual woman and trying to explain the concept of open relationships and having casual sex on the side. Remember the last time you had to explain bear runs, chubs and triads to the middle aged mom who sits next to you at work? Yeah… just like that. Maybe I’m not giving my fictitious straight therapist enough credit, but I just get the feeling that she’d make assumptions that had nothing to do with my feelings. Has anyone else come across this problem or am I worrying to much about it? If a therapist is good they should be able to see through all the social bull shit and get to the heart of the matter regardless. Right?


Between Jerk Off Sessions…

I spent Monday and Tuesday in bed with a stomach virus. Here are the notes and observations I discovered while I convalesced:

1. A great cure for boredom is to txt me a picture of your cock. You’ll get tons of bonus points if it’s a public cock pic. There’s no joke here… just an honest request.

2. Bravo’s new show Million Dollar Listing New York features gay Swedish real estate agent Fredrik Eklund who previously starred in the gay porn classic The Hole (parody of The Ring) under the name Tagg Erikson. #Truth

3. I never knew you could send/receive a private message on Tumblr.

4. An artist needs talent and inspiration

5. Why is Jessica Simpson still famous? Her last movie and album were in 2008 and both were a bomb. Her pregnancy shouldn’t be such a big deal.

6. It’s cool if you’re into the whole subservient ‘boy’ thing. To each their own. But lets get real…If you’re on a dog leash or have someone on a dog leash it’s like wearing a big sign that screams “I’ve have issues that I don’t want to deal with in therapy”

7. I deleted #7 because it was just to bitchy… even for me.
8. The Walgreen’s generic version of Strawberry Cheesecake ice cream can’t compare with Ben and Jerry’s. However, it tastes just like the old ice cream cups they would give us in grade school. You had a choice of vanilla with chocolate or strawberry swirl and they came with a little flat wooden spoon. Remember those?

9. Some people are smart and savvy on a budget. Some people are just broke idiots.

10. I’ve been watching a lot of Designing Women reruns on the TV Guide channel. (Apparently it’s a real channel now) It’s been said before and it’s worth repeating: DW was a great show that really jumped the shark when Delta Burke left. They needed Delta Burke.

11. Reese’s peanut butter eggs are one of my favorite parts of Easter.

12. I need to clean out my closets and bring several bags of cloths to Goodwill. My rule is: It should be donated if I haven’t worn it or thought about wearing something in 1-2 years. 

13. Going to funeral services reminds me that everyone grieves in a different way. It’s also surprising who does and doesn’t show up.


Right now in the Catholic church it is the season of Lent which leads into Easter Sunday. A common tradition is to give up a bad habit or vice for Lent. Our struggle to abstain from something is meant to symbolize the pain and suffering Jesus went through on the cross. People usually choose a things like smoking, junk food, or soda. Being a non-practicing Catholic, I’ve never felt the need to take part in the practice until now. Truth be told my decision had nothing to do with religion and it’s a pure coincidence that it came during Holy Week. Even though Lent wasn’t the inspiration, it seems like a natural pairing. I’m getting started late but I’ve to decided to give up bitterness. I had an ‘Ah-Ha’ moment last night when I met someone new and she picked up on my bitterness only after a few hours. I can’t say I’m surprised but that’s not the first impression I should be giving off. I’ve always had a natural inclination toward bitterness and it’s a crutch that’s too easy to fall back on. From now on I’m going to actively fight the urge. Deep down I’m not as bitter and jaded as I come off. My little jabs and sassy comments are week defense mechanisms that are in need of retirement. Good bye bitterness and hello positivity.
I’ve also decided to add my own spin on the Lent tradition. Along with stopping a bad habit I thought it would be a good idea to start good one. Therefore I’m going to get in the habit of giving out more compliments. Compliments are a small simple way to brighten someones day. When I’m in the moment I never think to verbalize the good thought I have. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not making something up just for the sake of a compliment, but if I honestly notice the good in someone I want to point it out. I urge you to give it a try and start a good habit this spring regardless of your religious background.

Pin It

One of my new projects is to get more red pins on my iPhone. If you have an iPhone, open your pictures and down at the bottom choose ‘places.’ A red pin will be dropped everywhere you’ve taken a picture. My goal is to get more red pins in more places. I was able to get North Carolina (I had a layover at the Charlotte airport), Florida, and Texas in my last vacation. Connecticut, Boston, Providence and Albany can also be crossed off the list. My next pins will probably be New York City and DC. You can play along too. From now on whenever you’re in a new place just remember to snap a picture. If you have Instagram, you can kill two birds with one stone.