Who Will He Be?

I wish psychics and horoscopes were real and accurate because I’m fascinated by who I’ll end up with romantically.  I wouldn’t expect a mystic to give me the name and phone of my future partner but some basic statistical information would be nice. Will he be older or younger, louder or quieter, taller or shorter? I think the number one question I would have for a psychic would be, Have I met him yet? Is he already in my life and I don’t know it or do I need to travel near and far to discover him? Part of me hopes that I haven’t met him yet because everyone I know now has a partner. If my dream man is already taken I’m going to punch ‘fate’ in the face. My love life will not turn into an Alanis Morrissette song. Truth be told I really have to idea who my ideal match would be, Yet I strongly suspect he’ll be  the opposite of what (I don’t know) I expect. Watch I’ll end up settling down with an intellectual lesbian financier who owns a weekend farm… the horror! I’ve really never focused in on the type of man I want so here is a preliminary check list of the do’s and don’t’s:

Age: 5 years younger to 15 years older.
Height: It’s completely unconscious, but I’ve always liked guys who are shorter then me
Hair color: Brunette. Although nordic blonde cubby guys can be cute to
Sense of humor: I had a realization several months ago that a sense of humor is not important to me. Clever is good but very funny turns into shtick and I get turned off. I would pick down to earth over funny any day.
Build: stocky and meaty with a nice ass
Work: Be self-sufficient. You don’t have to be on a strong career path but be able to pay your bills
Personality: This is number one and most important. A guy can be physical perfection but loose it all in his personality. It’s hard to define what’s right and wrong, but confidence is a good start. Plus, you’ll always get a foot in the door with a strong sense of self and creativity.
Attitude: either super laid back and easy going i.e. ‘the stoner sensibility’ or spunky and devilish.
Tattoos and Piercings: Piercings are ok except for the jacob’s lader and the extra large ear spacers. Oh and I’m not a fan of lip rings, although it’s not a deal breaker. Tattoos are ok as long as they’re not on the face or penis.
Sexuality: If you can count your sexual partners on one hand we may not have a lot on common.
Interests: Please don’t be into Nascar or pro-wrestling. Please like quirky documentaries, sex outside of the bedroom, Jeopardy, and travel.

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