I Don’t Eat That

I’m a picky eater. Tah Dah! (said with jazz hands) Some have said that I have the eating habits of a child. Yes it’s true. I have such a strong aversion to new foods that in most cases I’ve never actually tried them. When I was little my mother never forced me to finish my dinner or eat something I didn’t like. I guess that trend continued into adulthood. Eating is the one area where I have no desire to try new things. I’m perfectly content with my basic bland choices. There are a lot of foods I’ve never tried but here are some of the big ones:

The Big Five:
Chinese Food
Potato Salad
Macaroni Salad
To understand my food issues, you have to suspend rational thought for a bit. It all comes down to a couple basic points. The way food looks and smells in a major factor. Texture can also come into play. I’ll start with Chineae food because that it the one that surprises people the most. Chineae food looks and smell absolutely disgusting. (The smell is also in my top 5 worst scents of all time) My thinking is: If it looks disgusting and smells disgusting, why would I want to eat it? Chinese food also represents a larger category of food that I dare not touch: “Ethnic.” Mexican food is the most ethnic I get and even then it’s only quesadillas. Indian, Tai, Vietnamese, and Japanese are an automatic no go.
Potato and Macaroni Salad are both on the list because they’re cold food that should be warm. I imagine them being cold mush in mayo. Yuk. Next on the list is fish and it’s rancid scent. The smell of tuna makes me gag. No explanation needed.
That brings us to ham. This one makes people laugh the most. When ham is cooked, it looks that way every other meat looks raw. Who wants to eat raw meat? Not I my friend. Again keep in my I said you needed to suspend rational thought. It really does look like a huge piece or raw meat though.

In general, if an item can be classified as colorful or full of flavor, most likely is not something I’d want to try. Also, I don’t like when there is a mix of different textures. I detest nuts in brownies and cheese pizza is the only way to go (chicken is acceptable too)

By now you may be asking yourself “What does he eat?” Good question. I eat all the basics: Chicken, pasta, beef, turkey, cheese etc. I use the term favorite VERY loosely when it comes to vegetables but my favorite vegetables are carrots, broccoli and spinach. My motto for food is bland is always best.

2 thoughts on “I Don’t Eat That

  1. HAM!?! What is this…I don't even…

    I am the exact opposite. I will literally eat anything and enjoy it…except the one time. We were at our favorite Chinese place for dim sum, and they had a tray they were pushing around with different types of rice porridge. Feeling adventurous, I ordered the one with Thousand Year Eggs (hard-boiled eggs that have been fermented for a few months until they turn black). The flavor of the eggs was very off-putting, like taking a bite of mushy sulphur, although they did add an interesting and quite pleasant earthiness to the broth.


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