With the growing trend of second boyfriends and blurry relationship rules, I can’t help but wonder what it’s like to have a long term partner. As I’ve said before, relationships fascinate me. I’m always curious what happens behind closed doors. I’ll tell you up front that this post will ask a lot of questions but provide very few answers. I know as much about relationships as Tyra Banks knows about humility.
I met my good friend Justin for coffee the other night and he brought up a very good question. Why are so few gay couple getting married? Gay marriage is legal locally in Massachusetts, Connecticut, and New York and 85% of my friends are in long term committed relationships. However I only know of one local pair that is engaged. (Congrats Jeff and Ollie) Like Justin, the few married men I know had plans before the legalization. I thought couples would be lining up to officially pledge their commitment. Especially because many of my friends have been together for 10 years or more. So why is the New England (bear) community ignoring marriage? Is it a modern choice or a sign of deeper disconnect and complacency. It’s totally understandable that they’ve been together for a long time and simply outgrew the idea. But I still wonder if there is a hidden fear of commitment in everyone.
The gay community has always been very good at adapting. I love that gay men have found clever ‘work arounds’ for the common pitfalls of marriage. Most notably the prevalence of open relationships. It’s widely known that after many years a couple’s sex life can slow down. Hot and Heavy is replaced with Quiet and Comfortable. But when you have every cock available to you, how often do you suck the one at home? With no basis in fact, I’ve always assumed that many relationships turn into a romantic roommate situation. Nonsexual life partners. Is that true? My friends may be more hot and heavy then I give them credit for. What’s your story?
Who do you have sex with more?
_Your second boyfriend
_Yourself (hand, dildo, fleshlight etc)
Do you see yourself ever getting legally married?