Reader Requests

I’ve been in a grumpy mood this week. It’s probably related to the rainy/gray weather because now that the sun is out I’m feeling better. Anyhow, the Gay Gasp will be celebrating it’s year anniversary soon and it occurred to me that, as a reader, you may have questions for me. Are there any topics that you’d like to see me cover? Please comment on this post with any questions, ideas, suggestions etc. You can make them very personal or very general. And don’t worry…I won’t be offended.

Travel Plans

Every October at work we can start to submitt all the days we’d like off for the following year. Getting them in early gives you a better chance of getting what you want. For 2012 I want to try new events and new places. This is the list of possible events to pick and choose from. I also need to plan it out for my budget. Sadley I think I’m going to pass on TBRU in 2012. It’s a great time and I’ve always loved it. However I’ve gone for the past 4 years and I want to put my money toward something different. But I’ll add it to the list as a strong maybe. As for the Top Shelf Cruise…I had big hopes that it would be cheaper because it’s a mostly straight boat. Sadley they prices are higher then I hoped. (I was hoping for about $800- $1000) It will have to stay on the my wish list for now. The rest are all strong possibilies because they can be done on a long weekend.

May 24 – 28
Oct 28 – 30
July 7 – 15
June 27- July 2
March 15 – 19
May 31 – June 3
Sept 9 – 16
Sept 30


Bear Pride Chicago
BearWeek in Ptown
Spooky Bear Ptown
TBRU Dallas
Tidal Wave Orlando
Gay Pride Toronto
Top Shelf Cruise of Italy and Greece
Folsom St Fair San Francisco

Because I’m Good Enough, Smart Enough, and Doggone It People Like Me

Do you consider yourself a confident person?

Confidence has never been my strength, but in the last couple years I’ve lost what little I had. If you believe daytime talk shows, there is an epidemic of low self- esteem in this country. They blame advertising and the media for giving us impossible standards to live up to. Personally, my self-esteem (or lack there of) has nothing to do with the media. Seeing a hyper masculine muscle man on the cover of Men’s Fitness has little effect on my psyche. Personal interactions, fear, and prior mistakes have been much more damaging. The other major problem is that I’ve realized I’m a love pessimist. I was sitting on the deck at Rock’s, the local Albany bar, when I saw a cute guy in front of me. I could imagine 100 scenarios of why he wouldn’t like me, yet I struggled to think of one that turned out in my favor. That’s fucked up! Or should I say… my head is fucked up. I need to stop accepting defeat before I try. As Oprah would say, “You get what you expect out of life.” (I apologize for quoting Oprah)
Of all the areas of my life, I’m the most confident in my cloths. You could point and laugh all you wanted but it wouldn’t shake my opinion of my outfit. That’s not saying I know everything about fashion and it’s trends. Far from it. My confidence lies in my choice and opinion. When I pick something out I know I like it and no one can change that. A lot of my friends ask me for fashion advice and I’m happy to help. (I love getting cell phone shots from the dressing room) But if there was one tip I could give everyone, it’s to worry less about fashion rules or what you should or shouldn’t do and worry more about your own opinion. The only thing that really matters is if you like it and you think you look good. Fuck everyone else!
If I can say ‘fuck everyone else’ about my outfit, why can’t I say that about my love life. Now I need to take the confidence I have in my cloths and bring it to all the other parts of my life. I’m not sure how to do that exactly… but I’ll give it a shot. I sometime think it’s easier to start acting the part and eventually your mind will catch up.
What are you most confident about? A certain talent, physical feature, career success, charm, conversation skills?
If I ever found a genie in a bottle one of my wishes would be to spend a week as a ‘beautiful’ person. We all know those friends who are hot and their looks get them through life. You can lecture me all you want about personality and blah blah blah. But you have to admit there are people who don’t need confidence. I would love to know what that’s like.
There is a great Sex and the City episode about this from season 3: Attach of the Five Foot 10 Woman. It talks about how we can see all the best qualities in our friends yet we only see the negative in ourselves. It’s worth a watch.


What’s on TV?

My creativity has been dead this past week. I’ve been racking my brain trying to think of new topics… but I keep coming up empty. The only thing I can think of is television. With a new season starting, there are a bunch of new and returning programs.

A List NY– The A List was never an award winner, but it always had a bitchy charm. This season the charm is gone. Austin, the charming southern bad boy is up to his usual antics. Thank god because without him there wouldn’t be a show. All of the cast members spend the whole episode moaning and growning about his latest adventure. Frankly it gotten quite boring. Tip: follow the cast on Twitter and get the up to date dish. Also, Nyasha needs to go!

America’s Next Top Model (All Stars)- Tyra is finally doing an All Star show. She has invited back some of the more memorable cast members from years past. In reality there are a handful of favorites amongst a group of girls that can best be described as “Oh yeah, I think I remember her..?” If you’re a fan of the show this season won’t disappoint.

Free Agents– Unwatchable

Happy Endings– The new season hasn’t started yet but I’m very excited! Tune in September 29th on ABC.

Real Housewives of NY– In case you haven’t heard… Jill, Kelly, Cindy and Alex are off the show. They are being replaced by Carole Radziwill, Heather Thomson, & Aviva Drescher. You can google them to find out more.

Project Runway– Similar to ANTM, Heidi and friends are back with the usual cast and creations. There’s nothing particularly new or ground breaking about this season, but it’s still entertaining. I’ll continue to watch and enjoy it. With that said… Bert has lost his charm and the British Asian needed to go home. (Keep an eye out for the spin off  Project Accessory)

Up All Night– Ever season Christina Applegate is another new show. Why do they keep giving her a second chance? Anyhow, I watched Up All Night because there was nothing else on. It wasn’t horrible. I am surprised to say that I actually liked it. The show reminds me of a modern day Mad About You. (+ a baby)


I found a Hi-larious website that pokes fun of the religious right. Visit for more news stories or follow them of Facebook.

As many are aware, the homosexual element in America is uniquely versed in the perverse. For politicians, community leaders and all people of faith, it is important that we inform ourselves about the true face of the world these people inhabit. With this in mind, it should be noted that the report that follows is probably the most unsettling exposé that has ever crossed this reporter’s desk. It is so shocking and painful that it is necessary to state that what lies ahead will haunt even the most stoic adherents of decency.
The purpose of this investigation is to elucidate the precise form of immorality we are inviting into our sacred nation with the approval of the fastest growing radical lifestyle choice we have ever seen. It is not an easy subject but it demands an honest and direct exploration. Now, with great trepidation, we introduce the topic under discussion below: analingus sex.

Anal sex is a common activity in the “gay scene.” “Topping” (penetrating a man’s anus with a penis) and “bottoming” (a man being penetrated by a penis) are both well-known terms in homosexual vernacular. Radical carnal adventurers will go to

great lengths to beautify a cavity meant solely for the disposal of human waste (defecation). Despite this, “power bottoming” is a popular issue among liberals. Gay men will do almost anything to show off an unpleasant area of their bodies with lustful abandon in public, on the internet and even in our homes. Sadly, the fad of analingus sex is even more repulsive.

Analingus refers to the oral copulation of the anal cavity. In frank language, it means one man parts the buttocks of another and inserts his face between the abundant, odoriferous globes before him. By darting the tongue forward rapidly, he hopes to encourage ecstasy in his partner. The bigger the tongue, the greater the reaction. Some take long, lapping licks around the whole buttock region, while others go right for the pinkest center of the hole itself. In hardcore homosexual groups, this is known as “rimming.”

Rimming is an unsettling act and the novice will require copious amounts of saliva to lubricate the profoundly invasive rectal action that ensues. His hole will be spat upon and the spit will then be licked up. At times, a finger will be used to titillate the colon and the recipient will beg for the licker to continue. Other times, spanking and shouting accompany the analingus to give the whole glutinous maximum region the attention so anxiously craved.

For Youths: Rimming can be the gateway to a longtime addiction to sodomistic intercourse. It preps the anus for deeper abuse by another male. Because of their tender years, these boys tend to have little hair on the buttocks or maybe just a wisp of it around the pink entry itself. Parents should be aware that this crude interaction is normally done– after an excessive demand for privacy– in a locked bedroom or on a camping trip late at night.

For Twentysomethings: In this demographic, the analingus becomes a form of foreplay akin to oral copulation during a homosexual encounter. One may find himself pressed against the wall of a dorm room shower or in the darkened basement of an urban disco. The gay licker will enjoy the burgeoning hairiness there. He may spend minutes and maybe much longer pleasuring the fetid crevice of a man he has just met. It’s a crass way of introducing oneself and one’s erotic prowess to say the least!

For Athletes: Cleanliness is not usually necessary. Some lust for the taste of sweat– that salty, damp hole exuding a uniquely human taste of manliness and strength that the rimmer can never get enough of as he licks and licks, grappling the muscled hips of his wily coconspirator, blissfully unconcerned about the others who may share the very same locker room or sauna after a hearty workout.

For Older Males: Being sweat- and excrement-free is not important since the goal here is to push the limits, to engage in the raunchiest festival of prideful sin one can imagine. They will pry open the backside channel and invade with unsuspected dedication during copulation (with the recipient usually enjoying the surprise and attention). They will use their bearded faces to scratch and arouse the rimming spot, grabbing the bottom man’s jeans tightly and leaving him little chance to wrangle free. The interaction will be peppered with expletives and compliments, making the entire production both loud and unnerving.

For Inter-generational Rimming:
A young man confused by same-sex attraction may seek access to the upper confines of the gay elite by offering his anus to an older man who has a taste for pert, youthful buttocks. The confused boy will be bent over the edge of a hot tub or the wooden bench of a private cabin (this is the sort of place you find in the secret sex dungeons of America’s inner cities). He will submit to the colonic invasion of a hairy-faced man, possibly weeping somewhere deep inside for his lost innocence as that forked-tongue laps up what is left of his youth. Little does the young man realize that the analingus he is experiencing is simply a prologue to an imminent round of rapid, excruciating penetration by the adult’s prodigious girth.

Anthropologist Shane Allison has thoroughly explored this lurid trend in a volume entitled, “Nice Butt: Gay Anal Eroticism” which revealed the surprising surge of interest among young and old men alike for rectal fornication. Over the last five years, there has also been an alarming surge of anal-oral stimulation in homosexual videos found all over the internet. Some even employ “rimming” as a keyword for users to locate specific films that highlight this vivid, unceasing performance. On Craigslist and other gay social sites, men will advertise their propensity for this salacious sport, demanding a mate who is committed to fulfilling their shameful needs in long, sweaty sessions that often take place in rented apartments or public parks.

It’s unclear where the analingus trend began, but the rise in illegal immigrants from Mexico and South America neatly overlaps with its growth in American households.

Anal copulation has long been a common element in homosexual relations among Chicanos. As a culture, they fetishize the anus and memorialize it in song. For dominant men, anal penetration is a crude but effective way to claim ownership of a mate. A strong-armed and hairy-chested Latino may grab a weaker, more effeminate Caucasian and transgress him with a spasm of unrelenting consumption. Ultimately, this extreme cross-border violation is little different than International Terrorism. And the sad result is the same– the immutable bondage of one race of man to another.
Beneath this carefully crafted public relations campaign funded by the liberal elite and a powerful cadre of millionaire homosexual activists, the fact remains that the gay lifestyle is abhorrent to the public when truthfully unmasked. As many anthropologists, scientists and religious leaders have testified, this dangerous addiction to perversion goes against all the procreative underpinnings of mankind. It is evident that the analingus fad spreads rebellion, undermines our creative and military strengths and ultimately results in economic troubles the likes of which we are experiencing now under Barack Obama’s tumultuous reign. Tragically, there seems to be little hope this will change as long as “rimming” remains ones of the hottest trends in the homosexual circuit right now

Writen by Stephenson Billings for 

The Wishlist

Pan Am Gym Bag $189.00
There is a new show debuting this fall called Pan Am on ABC (staring Christina Ricci). Before it starts, I just want to remind everyone that I was ahead of this trend two year ago with the bad below. Not to toot my own horn but… Toot Toot! 
With that out of the way, I need a larger bag for weekend trips to Albany and such. The Pan Am gym bag would be perfect! So if anyone out there is feeling generous, hop on over to and send it my way. I’m usually a sucker for white, but this time I think I’d go with the blue.

Pan Am Innovator Bag

New York Fashion Week Spring/Summer 2012

Christian Siriano is the Tom Cruise of fashion. With NY Fashion week wrapped up, here is a look at the highs and lows. Siriano is undoubtedly the most successful project runway alum. Of all Heidi’s winners, he is the only one to have a serious fashion carrier. The fashion set are snobs and elitists however. He won’t make the cover of Vogue and time soon but his cloths sell out at stores around the county. If I had to choose one, I would rather have commercial success over critical acclaim. I suspect that makes the fashion industry even more mad. He has a huge fan base without the support of editors and fashion critics. He’s found a way to cheat the system and win. You can tell he only gets coverage because of his retail success and you can almost hear the editors groaning “Ok fine, I guess I have to mention him…” I think the Meenal Mistry said it best on
“Getting the respect that Siriano wants will require more than heeding a cool stylist. But you have to ask the question: Does he need it? In fashion’s new landscape, editors and designers are scrambling for the reality-TV stardom that Siriano already has in spades. Perhaps all he needs is a change of perspective.”
I still love him and I wish him all the success in the world. My advise to Christian is to try and grow and evolve as a designer but never loose who you are. Your customers buy your cloths for a reason. Fierce!

The rest of NY Fashion Week played out as follows:

Trend: Print, Patterns, and more

 Trend: Yellow

The Ugly and Ridiculous

All photos via

Trends designers in order from left to right:

Prints: Costello Taglialietra, Diane Von Furstenberg, Diane Von Furstenburg, Prabal Gurung, Oscar de la Renta, Jenny Peckham.

Yellow:  Derek Lam, Oscar de la Renta, Jason Wu, Rodarte, Christian Siriano, Michael Kors

The Ugly and Ridiculous: Thakoon, Jeremy Scott, Proenza Schouler


Toxic Tales

This is from a blog I found via Twitter:

‘What was different this time from the other times was that in the middle of sex he started saying stuff like “Yeah, give me that poz load…”, “Charge me up…”, etc. That was new for him. When I first met him he was really unclear about his HIV status. One moment he’d say he was neg, then he’d say he wasn’t sure, then he’d say he was poz and not on meds… He told me just about everything to the point where I had no clue. So here he was begging for a poz load. Thing is, I’m neg… But the middle of fucking someone is not the time to go into status, so I just didn’t say anything. If he was getting off thinking I was blowing some big toxic load in his cunt – well let him have his fantasy…’

Wow! Ok if you’re anything like me, your mind is spinning with questions. Let me first get the PC stuff out of the way. What two consenting adults do is their own business. The only people that should regulate and govern sex are its participants. This doesn’t effect me so I have no business judging the situation.
With that out of the way, I still can’t help but be confused and perplexed. The main part I can’t get passed it the sentence “When I first met him he was really unclear about his HIV status.” This implies a couple things:
1. He was not upfront about his HIV status and therefore was lying/dishonest.
2. ‘When I first met him’ means that you’ve seen (fucked) him more then once despite the HIV fogginess.
3. You fucked him bareback even though you and he didn’t know his status.
Where do I even begin? Lets break it down chronologically. I don’t know these people personally so I’ll have to make assumptions and fill in the gaps. ‘The top’ meets a hot ‘bottom‘ who tells him he’s negative so they decide to fuck bareback. This is a big assumption, but I’ll give them the benifit of the doubt and assume everyone thought everyone was negative at the start. Not the safest decision but who am I to judge.
Let’s continue on…The sex was good and the top wants more. The next time they chat the bottom says he’s not sure of his status. Here is where a red flag should have gone up. (if not before) To go from negative to unsure tells me that something happened to changed his mind/status. This is where I don’t understand the train of thought. The bottom has obviously been risky and taken a load or two (or 25) bareback. He’s also being surprisingly upfront by saying has no idea or care about HIV. Yet the top decides to fuck him again anyways. Really? I would love to know the thought process behind that decision, but I’m guessing deep thought wasn’t involved much. So life goes on and still the top continue to see or talk to this person who now tells him he’s poz and not on meds. Ok, this is the point where logic should kick in. No matter how hard-up you are for ass. The bottom he is fucking without a condom has now told him he has HIV and not on meds. That’s the universe sending a smack in the face signal. Proceed with caution… wrap up your dick! We’re not taking about extreme safety measures here, just a basic condom. If someone is unclear and gives different answers to the question “What’s your status?” My assumption is positive until proven otherwise. Especially when the bottom has said at some points that he’s poz. Does the top care if he gets infected? Does he want to be infected? Has the thought of infection ever crossed his mind?
So many questions. 
As the post continues you learn the top also has a Prince Albert piercing. Which, by the way, just increases the risk of anal tearing, bleeding, and infection. The bottom is not blame free because there is an obvious sence of dishonesty. Part of me hopes this story is exaggerated for reader enjoyment. Maybe the whole thing is made up. The sad thing is that even if it’s fiction, it’s not unbelievable. I’m sure a similar story has played out before in bedrooms across the country.

Know your status. To find a testing site near you visit


Ten Years

Where was I 10 years ago and where will I be in 10 years? I’ll start with the former. Ten years ago I was 20 and starting my sophomore year in college at UMass Amherst. I’m thankful to have been blessed with a wonderful education. When I got to UMass I moved on to the 4 floor of the Mary Lyon building. The forth floor was/is the 2 in 20 Floor, a special residence program for Gay Lesbian Bi, Trans, etc etc etc. It made for a wonderful, all be it unique living experience. The floor below us was all female, put in place as a buffer. (or as one eager lesbian named it a “buffet”) We never had any problems from the other residence of the building. In fact, most of the straight couples would come up and have sex in our co-ed bathroom/showers. It was a year of AOL Instant Messenger, chat rooms, and free music and porn on Napster. That same year, I also remember walking back from my morning cooking class (a degree requirement) when my vegan lesbian neighbor stopped to tell me that a plain had just flown into the World Trade Center. Joe my roommate at the time was crying when I got back and I gave him a long hug. It was a surreal moment. The country shut down in the days following the attacks as everyone tried to figure out what to do next.
Now ten years has gone by and I’m at 30 and I can’t help but look ahead at where I’ll be when I turn 40. I’ve never been able to plan my future well, but here goes: When I turn 40 hopefully I’ll own a home or condo. It was originally a goal I set for thirty, but I’m mature enough to say that I can not afford a home yet. Buying a home is all about the down payment and I need to save some serious cash first. My goal is to save roughly $10,000… which will take me at least 10 years to do. On a similar note, this will be the decade of fiscal responsibility. I’m a spender by nature and whether it’s travel, cloths, shoes or food, I’ll always find something to spend money on. All those purchases have done wonders for my wardrobe but not my bank account. My mantra will (hopefully) be Save More Spend Less.
Other then home and savings…my vision gets very blurry. A lot can happen in 10 years so it’s hard to plan for. Obviously I want to be happy and I’d like to think a boyfriend is a big part of that. I know I don’t need another person to make me happy… blah blah blah. But I’d like to have a boyfriend someday. My longest relationship was for three months and that was about 4 years ago. In fact, I sometime feel like a dating virgin because I’ve only dated two people total. Relationships have always been something for other people. Like a club I wasn’t given the secret password for. But now that I have grown and matured, I know that my third decade will bring more success in my love life. Think positive! As the song says, ‘3 is the magic number.’