Fatboys, Bobbleheads, and Gay Art Critics

Female celebs are not the only ones who can can go through a dramatic weight loss. Their pudgy male counterparts are getting in on the trend. I’ll admitt from the start that I am biased. It’s no secret that I prefer a man with a belly. Truth be told though it all depends on the person and how they carry the weight. Here are five examples of male actors who shed some poundage.

First is Jerry Ferrara star if HBO’s Entourage. This is the perfect example of bigger is better. I always thought he was one of the cutest guys in Hollywood. He was so cute! After the weight loss I can’t help but think average, forgetable, and generic.

Next is Ethan Suplee from My Name is Earl. As Earl’s chubby brother Randy he had a cute dumb guy quality. Now he is healthy and svelt. As a skinny guy he looks pretty good but his forehead is ENORMOUS. Fat has a way of balancing out a large head. Nothing is worse then the former fat guy who is turns into a skinny bobblehead. My advice: Put the hat back on.

Poor Drew Carey. You built your career on being the lovable chubby everyman. Now the host of the Price is Right looks like a gay art critic. Gain the weight back or learn the nuances of Julian Schnabel.

Jonah Hill recently unveiled his new look at the ESPY awards. This is a tough one. Lets be honest, he wasn’t that cute before and he’s not that cute after. My vote is the after (thin) because if you’re going to be unattractive either way…you may as well be healthy. But will he be as funny?
Ricky Gervais has slimmed down as well. He is the only person who maintained his looks for the most part. It helps that he did not have as dramatic a change as some of the other guys. Before or after…he’s average. However it seems like he has become more of a dickhead now that he is lighter. So this one’s a toss up!
Horatio Sanz wins the award for looking a the best after his weight loss. However he looks almost unrecognizable! When I first saw him on tv after loosing weight I had no idea who the hell he was. Congrats Horatio.

Urban Dictionary

Snorkeling :
(variation of the roman war helmet) This maneuver is performed by placing your testicles over the eyes of your partner, forming a mask. Then the breathing apparatus is formed by placing the end of your penis into the receiver’s mouth. This maneuver if preferably performed in water(bath tub, hot tub, pool etc.)
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Through The Looking Glass

 
I’m off on Thursdays and they tend to be very boring. Then I had a light bulb moment! Going to Alexander McQueen earlier this year at the MET sparked my interest in seeing more museums exhibits. Therefore I started to look around at local museums for interesting shows. I’ll be the first to admit that walking around a museum can be very boring. How many paintings of dead white people can you look at? Yawn. That’s why I like a special exhibits because they tend to be a lot more lively and fun. Last Thursday I went to the Chihuly show Through the Looking Glass at the MFA in Boston with my cousin Kelly. It was bright and colorful with a hint of psychedelic charm. It’s only around for another week or two but if you’re in the area check it out.

Print It

Am I the only person who still prints out pictures? I still like having paper copies. I like the idea of getting older and flipping through my photo albums to remember the ‘good ol days.’ In addition I like to frame memorable pics to place around my room. I guess I could invest in one of those digital frames… but that seems like cheating somehow. Usually I’ll use Snapfish.com to print out all my digital images. This most recent purchase included the 8×10 collage to the left. It was a last minute add as I was checking out. A box popped up with it already put together asking if I’d like to add it to my purchase. It was only $3.00! I got it on the mail today and I love it. I suspect I’ll be making a lot of these collages from now on.

What if Facebook crashed tomorrow? Your page and all of your friends’ pages would be whiped out. Bye Bye pictures! I guess what I’m talking about is a back up plan. Technology is great but it is not fool proof. Yes it will be around forever but not always in the same form. Even if Facebook continues on for decades, it doesn’t mean that computers and digital photography will remain the same.  Like everything else it will evolve into something completely different. God only know what Apple has up their sleave. I like knowing that I have paper copies as a back up. Now I just need to make sure and grab them if a fire breaks out.

You don’t have to be like me and print them out…but at least save them to a flash drive. The best $50 I ever spent was on a 16GB flash drive. So for my tip of the day: Back Up Picture Files! Two or three times a year I spend an hours or so going through Facebook and saving all the pictures from past parties and vacations.  Currently I have about 7 full albums.

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Fuck Listed

This started a year ago. To be technical it really started 10 years ago. While I was going though the 8 weeks of training for my current job there was often down time between activities. Because I like lists I decided to make a list of everyone I’ve had sex with. The definition of sex has a big impact on the length of the list. I used the the most all-encompasing definition I know of. It was created when I was in college and therefore I call it the UMass definition of sex: Any act involving two or more people where the result or goal is sexual pleasure or orgasm.

Memory is a major factor in making a sex list. Especially because I am horrible with names. Therefore many of the men on my list have clever descriptions to jog my memory such as “Milford Southern Hotel Guy” or “West Hartford 3some.” In my defense I knew (most of) their names at the time…I just can’t remember them now. I may not know their name but I always remember the act. Granted it took me several days to remember some of the more obsure ones. I’d be driving home and have a sudden brain storm “Wait, what about that guy in at UMass with the JLo poster on his wall?” Writing this post has jump started my memory and there were several additions added in the last couple days. Ok enough with the rambling. Lets get down to the numbers:

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The current total is 163.

I’ve played with 15% of my friends list on Facebook.

I lost my virginity at the age of 19 in Providence RI. His name was/is Pete.

I’ve had sex in 3 countries. As well as on a cruise ship. I’m not sure what that counts as. International Waters?

I’ve had sex in 8 out of the 50 States (+ DC)

I’ve had 163 sexual partners and 2 boyfriends.

About 95% of the men are/were older then me.

With that out of the way, lets look behind the numbers. As a side not, heavy making out with over the cloths groping does not count on this list.

As a reader you’d expect this to be followed by stories from the best and the worst. I can’t think of one specific time that was The Best. However there is a clear stand outs for best kisser. I won’t name names because I think he reads this blog and I wouldn’t want to embarrass him. But all I can say is that he had the softest juicy lips I’ve ever felt. Truly amazing. Best 3some is a tie. Each time a rare feat was accomplished, I was able to cum without any touching or contact with my dick. The first time it happened I was getting fucked and it felt like I was going to piss myself. I was pleasantly surprised to say the least.

This post took me about 3 days to finish. My main hesitation was revealing the total number. I started the post because I thought you would find it funny that I actually took time and hand wrote a list of everyone I’ve had sex with. I wasn’t worried about how people would react because most of my close friends shouldn’t be surprised with anything I’ve said. I was concerned that this was passing the point of class and good taste. I’ve always tried to live my life with a little dignity and class. I decided that there is dignity in being totally honest and starting a coversation. Here’s to the next 163!

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