Dear Natalie Protman,
Congratulations on winning the Oscar for your performance in Black Swan. It was much deserved. Your portrayal of Nina was both layered and moving. The reason for my letter is that I am concerned about your recent movie choices. Are you trying to kill your career or have you just sold out to the highest pay check? I understand you have bills to pay with a newborn coming, but that does not explain the current string of mush at the theater. For example, as you walked the red carpets of award season No Strings Attached was opening at the box office. A fuck buddy movie with Ashton Kutcher. Ok, I’ll give you a pass on that one. They probably gave you buckets of money and at least it opened in first place. Now your current movie is Your Highness. A mid evil stoner comedy that doesn’t even star Seth Rogan. Because whenever I watch funny stoner movies I always think to myself…”The only thing that could make this movie better is if it was set in the year 1500!” It doesn’t end there. Upcoming in May is Thor. A CGI ‘Greek warrior who god comes to earth to save the planet’ epic fail of a film. Natalie when will the massacre end?!? Haven’t we learned anything from Jamie Foxx? One Oscar doesn’t ensure a successful career.
Worried in West Hartford