The Merriam Webster dictionary defines ‘Normal’ as:

Today is Black Friday, historically one of the busiest shopping days of the year. However the last Saturday before Christmas usually beats it out it total sales. Having worked at the mall for many years, I want nothing to do with shopping in stores today. Today is a much better day to shop online. For the most part the stores have the same promo’s online that they do instore. I saw this sweater from Old Navy in the store a few weeks ago and thought it was cute. But I refused to pay $50 at Old Navy. When did ON become expesive? Today it was on sale for $15. Score! Click and Ship. So I’ve done my part for the economy. Has anyone else found great deals this weekend?

Today is Thanksgiving and I am totally stealing this quote from someone on facebook, “On this day we should all reflect on the 4 Great ‘F’s’ in life; Family, Friends, Food, and Fucking!”

I think that just about sums it all up.

If you happen to be alone, today is the perfect day to snuggle up on the couch and watch old 30 Rock episodes on Netflix while eating a pre-made Mrs. Smith Apple pie. Let Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin be your family today.

The Vatican came out with a landmark decision today. Condom use is the ‘lesser of two evils’ when they are used to prevent AIDS. Still evil, but not as bad as a deadly disease. What’s sad is that this is truly a landmark decision. Up until now all forms of pregnancy prevention where deemed a sin. However now Pope Benedict XVI has slightly changed his tune. This quote from Yahoo News puts it best:

“This is admittedly a difficult distinction to grasp,” he told The Associated Press in an e-mail. What the pontiff is saying is “that someone determined to do something wrong may be showing a glimmer of moral common sense by not doing that wrong thing in the worst possible way — which is not an endorsement of anything.”

So if you’re are going to be an evil sinner, be a moral evil sinner.

My sister called my mother tonight at 10:05 pm. My mother was in bed, so my dad answered the phone. As my father walked up the stairs to bring her the phone, she was convinced the late night phone call was because I had just had a heart attack. Her words to my sister “This is to late to call. I thought that this was finally the phone call that Joey had had a heart attack.”

Sigh……
That’s all.

As you start your Holiday shopping this season, don’t forget about the always exciting and always impractical Hammacher
Schlemmer. (http://www.hammacher.com/) If you’ve got money to burn on the person who has everything, they are the perfect shopping destination. Featured items include a Flying Car and a Personal Submarine. My favorite is the Authentic Boardwalk Photo Booth. I’d love to have this in my home so guest at parties could snap pictures of themselves. With a retail price of only $11,000… it’s a steal! Get them before they sell out. Hammacher Schlemmer will even ship it to you for $1,5000.

*Gift Wrap Not Available.

I treated myself to a movie this afternoon and went to see MegaMind. Am I the only one who found the scruffy MetroMan totally hot?!?

Which brings up the question, which cartoon characters would you have sex with?

My other two favorites are Chris Griffin from Family Guy and Stan Smith from American Dad.

Wow.
I want to go to there.

I’ve had a bad week. Ok, lets be honest…it’s been more then a week. I’ve been unsure how to address everything is one post. However. after tonight I knew I needed to post something.

People still surprise me. Last week I started chatting with a guy who said he was new in town and wanted to meet me for dinner. Naturally, I assumed this was a date. I was wrong. Lesson #1, unless he specifically uses the word ‘Date,’ never assume. It turns out he has a partner in Stamford, CT. He also hoped I’d be a stoner. Or as he put it “You’re not what I expected. I thought you were going to be a cute chubby stoner. But your into material things, look at your fancy sweater.”

Is this for real? Am I in the Twilight Zone? Talk about being kicked when you’re down. I was hoping this date could lead to something more, or at least give my self esteem a boost. That was an epic fail. As a result, I’m thinking about going into hibernation. How wonderful would it be if I could just curl up in my big empty bed and spend the next 3 month fast alseep.